Yo, check out the sweet bike powered beer chiller I just invented !!

2/15/2015 - Update.  By now this post is nearing 450 views.  I have wanted this cringe thing to drop off the front page and disappear into the unplumbed depths of older posts.  It was a cute idea followed up but a buzzed bit of nonsense.  In the way Europe has been working on an internet 'right to be forgotten' I would like to invoke such and plead for this thing to vanish. Thank you.

From room temperature to quite chilled in less than 2 miles.  I might do a Kickstarter.

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Permalink Reply by Tandemonium on February 10, 2015 at 2:11pm

"beer" chiller. :)

Permalink Reply by Tom A.K. on February 10, 2015 at 2:12pm
What happened to the other 12 bottles that were in the carrier ?
Permalink Reply by Tank-Ridin' Ryan on February 10, 2015 at 3:02pm

You forgot the asterisks.

* Cold weather not included

* "sometimes" equaling 9-10 months of the year

Permalink Reply by sten on February 10, 2015 at 3:41pm
I don't see beer here. I see the millennial equivalent of wine coolers.
Permalink Reply by Haddon on February 10, 2015 at 4:18pm

6 empty bottles in produces thus:

My detractors are crabs in a barrel with no goal but to drag down my inventive power.  If we are going to exist in a world of renewable energy, a way of living that doesn't imperil future generations than "MY SWEET BIKE POWERED BEER CHILLER©" is EXACTLY what this world needs.

It is:

a) simple to operate, far simpler, in fact, that a refrigerator.  While you have been struggling with all the effort and inconvenience of the refrigerator door then "MY SWEET BIKE POWERED BEER CHILLER©" is the invention for you. You will no longer have to navigate the issues involved with refrigerator doors.  Does the door swing left? Does it swing right? Will you have to find room among everything else in the refrigerator in order to find space? Will you get a measles infection by touching the handle of the refrigerator?  All of these pressing and draining issues will be relieved by the effective utilization of "MY SWEET BIKE POWERED BEER CHILLER©"

 b) "MY SWEET BIKE POWERED BEER CHILLER©" is inexpensive to produce, once scales of economy and mass production and distribution kick in than this invention can be provided to anyone who owns a bicycle for near pennies per unit. Think about it, everyone on the planet will be able to have access to chilled beverages, they will be able to pop the top and experience the joy of a crisp, chilly beverage.  Would you be so shallow that you would deny your fellow human beings this?

c) "MY SWEET BIKE POWERED BEER CHILLER©" fights against the pervasive notion of 'room temperature'.  Often overlooked is the near tyranny of 'room temperature' and its detrimental effects on our health and our environment, 100% of the people exposed to 'room temperature' later die.  Am I correct in saying that just about every room you have gone into has, in fact, been ROOM TEMPERATURE?  If you are like me you get weary of this and yearn for other thermal options, other states of temperature than those doled out by the military/industrial/heating and air conditioning complex.  "MY SWEET BIKE POWERED BEER CHILLER©" is not just about sustainability, convince and the environment it is a fight against the pervading thermic status quo.

---  I challenge any of you ANY of you living in Chicago, to try a prototype of "MY SWEET BIKE POWERED BEER CHILLER©" in the next week.  If a single, and I state again, SINGLE person makes use of a prototype "MY SWEET BIKE POWERED BEER CHILLER©" and your beverage does not reach a cool and refreshing thermal state then I will forgo now and forever research and development into improving the  "MY SWEET BIKE POWERED BEER CHILLER©"  Thus far 100% of the trials were unequivocally effective in drastically reducing the average temperature of beverages.  I will state again that our success rate has been 100% which is the sort of datum result that rarely comes along.

Try it yourself, doubters only need to replicate my invention and you will find the amazing power of "MY SWEET BIKE POWERED BEER CHILLER©"  At this point if you would like to buy a "MY SWEET BIKE POWERED BEER CHILLER©" I am now selling them for the low, low cost of 19.95, for one low price you can experience crisp beverages all year around.

But wait there is more.

If you order now we will include a free "MY SWEET BIKE POWERED POTATO CHIP AND DORRITO CHILLER©" No longer will you have to put up with warm potato chips or warm Dorritos. For 19.95 plus 4.95 shipping and handing you will get both the "MY SWEET BIKE POWERED BEER CHILLER©" and the "MY SWEET BIKE POWERED POTATO CHIP AND HOTDOG CHILLER©" delivered right to your door so order today!

Permalink Reply by Tom A.K. on February 10, 2015 at 4:38pm
What IS the alcohol % content in mike's ?

Haddon said:

6 empty bottles in produces thus:

My detractors are crabs in a barrel with no goal but to drag down my inventive power.  If we are going to exist in a world of renewable energy, a way of living that doesn't imperil future generations than "MY SWEET BIKE POWERED BEER CHILLER©" is EXACTLY what this world needs.

It is:

a) simple to operate, far simpler, in fact, that a refrigerator.  While you have been struggling with all the effort and inconvenience of the refrigerator door then "MY SWEET BIKE POWERED BEER CHILLER©" is the invention for you. You will no longer have to navigate the issues involved with refrigerator doors.  Does the door swing left? Does it swing right? Will you have to find room among everything else in the refrigerator in order to find space? Will you get a measles infection by touching the handle of the refrigerator?  All of these pressing and draining issues will be relieved by the effective utilization of "MY SWEET BIKE POWERED BEER CHILLER©"

 b) "MY SWEET BIKE POWERED BEER CHILLER©" is inexpensive to produce, once scales of economy and mass production and distribution kick in than this invention can be provided to anyone who owns a bicycle for near pennies per unit. Think about it, everyone on the planet will be able to have access to chilled beverages, they will be able to pop the top and experience the joy of a crisp, chilly beverage.  Would you be so shallow that you would deny your fellow human beings this?

c) "MY SWEET BIKE POWERED BEER CHILLER©" fights against the pervasive notion of 'room temperature'.  Often overlooked is the near tyranny of 'room temperature' and its detrimental effects on our health and our environment, 100% of the people exposed to 'room temperature' later die.  Am I correct in saying that just about every room you have gone into has, in fact, been ROOM TEMPERATURE?  If you are like me you get weary of this and yearn for other thermal options, other states of temperature than those doled out by the military/industrial/heating and air conditioning complex.  "MY SWEET BIKE POWERED BEER CHILLER©" is not just about sustainability, convince and the environment it is a fight against the pervading thermic status quo.

---  I challenge any of you ANY of you living in Chicago, to try a prototype of "MY SWEET BIKE POWERED BEER CHILLER©" in the next week.  If a single, and I state again, SINGLE person makes use of a prototype "MY SWEET BIKE POWERED BEER CHILLER©" and your beverage does not reach a cool and refreshing thermal state then I will forgo now and forever research and development into improving the  "MY SWEET BIKE POWERED BEER CHILLER©"  Thus far 100% of the trials were unequivocally effective in drastically reducing the average temperature of beverages.  I will state again that our success rate has been 100% which is the sort of datum result that rarely comes along.

Try it yourself, doubters only need to replicate my invention and you will find the amazing power of "MY SWEET BIKE POWERED BEER CHILLER©"  At this point if you would like to buy a "MY SWEET BIKE POWERED BEER CHILLER©" I am now selling them for the low, low cost of 19.95, for one low price you can experience crisp beverages all year around.

But wait there is more.

If you order now we will include a free "MY SWEET BIKE POWERED POTATO CHIP AND DORRITO CHILLER©" No longer will you have to put up with warm potato chips or warm Dorritos. For 19.95 plus 4.95 shipping and handing you will get both the "MY SWEET BIKE POWERED BEER CHILLER©" and the "MY SWEET BIKE POWERED POTATO CHIP AND HOTDOG CHILLER©" delivered right to your door so order today!

Permalink Reply by Haddon on February 10, 2015 at 11:22pm

Oh, its mostly that I'm a lightweight but partial to the occasional dose of dada/surrealism/wtf. Not that I might not delete it at this moment if I could. No Headache!

Tom A.K. said:

What IS the alcohol % content in mike's ?

Permalink Reply by Anne Alt on February 11, 2015 at 5:11am

Ha!

A lazier alternative: an old fashioned option I used in a basement-level college apartment - open window, stick bottles/cans in snow, bury, wait a little while, serve nicely chilled.  ;)
 
Tank-Ridin' Ryan said:

You forgot the asterisks.

* Cold weather not included

* "sometimes" equaling 9-10 months of the year

Permalink Reply by Mike Schwab on February 11, 2015 at 5:28am



Michael B said:

Imbedding.
Permalink Reply by David Barish on February 11, 2015 at 5:59am

So versatile. It doubles as an egg fryer at different times of the year.

Permalink Reply by Anne Alt on February 11, 2015 at 6:48am

;)



David Barish said:

So versatile. It doubles as an egg fryer at different times of the year.

Permalink Reply by Tank-Ridin' Ryan on February 12, 2015 at 7:39am

Did that last night with a small trash can full of snow.

Anne Alt said:

sh

A lazier alternative: an old fashioned option I used in a basement-level college apartment - open window, stick bottles/cans in snow, bury, wait a little while, serve nicely chilled.  ;)
 
Tank-Ridin' Ryan said:

You forgot the asterisks.

* Cold weather not included

* "sometimes" equaling 9-10 months of the year

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