Salmon fishing

I got him!

Approaching the intersection of Orleans and Ontario from the south, on my way from work just about an hour ago, I saw a cyclist pedaling on the east side of Orleans, getting to the same intersection from the north. Against the traffic. That he didn't have a headlight goes without saying.

I've been in a similar situation several times before, but never had a chance to try this way of dealing with that kind of fish: I slowed down, and kept as close to the curb as I can, forcing the salmon to go around me.

There was enough light still to see the expression on his face.

Priceless!

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Permalink Reply by David Barish on August 27, 2013 at 7:04am

You have encountered that rare, and select species.  This is no farm raised salmon that you can get at a generic fish house. This is not the wild Pacific Salmon that tempts your gullet and stretches your wallet. This is a dish found only in certain locales. Like Blowfish, you have to be careful as you can die as a result of your encounter with Unrepentant  Ninja Salmon.  The darkened flesh is difficult to perceive until it is upon you.

That being said, many of us have made the wrong turn or wound up in a place where we traverse a short distance the wrong way. If this is the case, you do so not obliviously or imperiously. You do so with utmost caution and trepidation. You give way to any users of the roadway going the correct direction and seek to make yourself as unobtrusive as possible yet completely visible. Do not ride with arrogance but with repentance. Do not ride as a ninja but as a visible object.  Minimize your error by getting off the upstream as soon as possible. You are not on a major bikeway at a major time. Otherwise, salmon may be too glorious of a term. This is, after all, a beautiful and delicious fish. You are a cockroach. You may get caught in Serge's cleats.
Serge Lubomudrov said:

Hmm . . . Interesting.

So, it appears, IYO, that doing something illegal (like riding against the flow of traffic, in this case), is morally right? In a bit broader perspective, people should mind their own business and let others break the law, even when those others put them in danger?

Not "technically" aggressive, but still "aggressive"? In what sense, may I ask?

I did not play chicken with that guy. He was of approximately my age (that is, at least 50) and looked neither inexperienced nor timid, but definitely surprised, as, I guess, no one before has done it to him. (I certainly would not try this with a woman or a child.)

Let me remind you that he was riding without headlight, which is also illegal.

Well, may be, just may be, next time he'd think before breaking one of the laws he was breaking last night.

(Disclaimer: There certainly are situations when law itself is immoral, and breaking such law is a moral imperative. Somehow, I don't think it applies here.)

Permalink Reply by Tom Dworzanski on August 27, 2013 at 8:08am

Truth:

David P. said:

Someone who endangers other people by salmoning in heavy traffic is never going to stop doing it as long as everyone accomodates them.
Permalink Reply by Maurice on August 27, 2013 at 8:18am

OP did the right thing.  Slowing down and staying as right as possible is rather the opposite of "aggressive."  (I do the same thing when Dbags walk 4-abreast on a crowded sidewalk.)  If you crash into me under these circumstances, then I'm completely blameless.  I'm certainly not required to blindly swerve towards auto traffic to accommodate your dangerous behavior.

Permalink Reply by Kevin Mulcky on August 27, 2013 at 8:50am
Sounds like serge did what he thought was right and was pretty chill about it. Some of the other posts seemed to illustrate a little more gleeful enjoyment at playing chicken and forcing salmon into parked cars or oncoming traffic.

I've seen motorists do this same kind of shit though: I've been passing traffic stuck at a light and someone will move their car to keep me from "cutting" in line. Or more than once a motorist decided that I should taught a lesson and buzzed me while I was riding down a one-way street. Maybe I shouldn't have been cutting line or riding against traffic but that doesn't mean that it's open season. People shouldn't teach lessons by endangering others. Period. Whether you're being passive aggressive just agro, try not to endanger others while getting your point across. Say something constructive or get over it.
Permalink Reply by Tom Dworzanski on August 27, 2013 at 8:56am

I thought you were just trying to take the high-road by making the point that we should be kind and give people the benefit of the doubt. But based on this it sounds like you might be a salmon justifying the very dangerous behavior. Please tell me I'm wrong.

Kelvin Mulcky said:

Or more than once a motorist decided that I should taught a lesson and buzzed me while I was riding down a one-way street.
Permalink Reply by JeffB on August 27, 2013 at 8:58am

Like call others entitled jerks?

Kelvin Mulcky said:

... Say something constructive or get over it.
Permalink Reply by Chitown_Mike on August 27, 2013 at 9:13am

Any time I have encountered a salmon I give a verbal "Just a heads up, you're on the wrong side of the street." And I move to the left side of the bike lane if there are parked cars in an effort to have them pull off to the right or pass to my right, because I am not about to put myself in a situation where I can get doored and have nowhere to go.  But I feel safer on the left side holding my line.

If I am moving fast enough and can accelerate safely and take the lane, I do that and give the salmon the full bike lane.  

If there is no parked cars or a large gap in parked cars, I'll move closer to the curb.  I will never go full right because I don't want to hide myself from approaching traffic and then "pop out" again.

However if I am feeling snarky I will say "You're on the wrong side" but think "Your".....just because. :D

Permalink Reply by djm on September 23, 2013 at 7:59am

As I was walking along a busy Western Avenue Friday night, I saw a salmon riding southbound in the northbound lane and another cyclist approaching from the south (neither with a headlight).  They veered back and forth two or three times before colliding head-on.  It didnt seem that anyone was injured.  The salmon swore at the northbound cyclist while he got back on his bike and continued on his way against traffic.

Permalink Reply by Maurice on October 2, 2013 at 6:15am

Yesterday, I was riding south-bound on Halsted near Maxwell in fairly heavy traffic when I spotted an on-coming salmon.  I took advantage of a break in the parked cars to drift to the right and slow down, giving him plenty of time to clear the parked cars and pass me on his right using the entire bike lane.  Nope!  POS slowed down until I was about 10 feet from the parked cars, then turned sharply left into my path so he could pass me on his left.

 

Must be what it feels like to play that light bike game in the movie Tron.

Permalink Reply by Skip Montanaro 0mi on October 2, 2013 at 6:50am



h' 1.0 said:

I =always= stay right, and never give a salmon any opportunity at to pass on my left.

I'm sorry, h', but I am having trouble visualizing this. You're in a bike lane, which in most cases is going have you and adjacent traffic travelling in the same direction (say, both traveling SB on Halsted). You notice a NB salmon in the bike lane, so you move toward the curb or parallel parked cars. Wouldn't the salmon normally pass you on your left, closer to the traffic?

Permalink Reply by Maurice on October 2, 2013 at 8:05am

No.  I started to the right of the bike lane, giving him the entire lane to pass on my left.  When it was clear that he intended to pass on my right and would've been unable to cut back to my left without wiping out, I just shifted back into the bike lane.

 
 
Serge Lubomudrov said:

Did you have to veer off the bike lane into the traffic, Maurice?

Maurice said:

Yesterday, I was riding south-bound on Halsted near Maxwell in fairly heavy traffic when I spotted an on-coming salmon.  I took advantage of a break in the parked cars to drift to the right and slow down, giving him plenty of time to clear the parked cars and pass me on his right using the entire bike lane.  Nope!  POS slowed down until I was about 10 feet from the parked cars, then turned sharply left into my path so he could pass me on his left.

 

Must be what it feels like to play that light bike game in the movie Tron.

Permalink Reply by Lisa Curcio on October 2, 2013 at 10:02am

This is a lose-lose situation for the person riding in the bike lane with traffic.  We ride to the traffic side of the bike lane to avoid getting hit by doors.  The salmon comes along.  Do we move toward the parked cars and risk the door or move into the traffic lane with cars coming up in the lane?  I think I would rather look to see if I could get into the traffic lane.  In fact this happens quite regularly on Dearborn north of Kinzie, and I tend to move to the traffic lane.
 
h' 1.0 said:

Oops-- you're right-- I was keying off of Maurice's post above, and in re-reading it I see he flipped left and right twice (at least that's the only way I can make sense out of it.)

I never let a salmon get between me and whatever's on my right-- just not happening.

And now I think I need to update my response to Cameron--- yes, moving out into the lane across an oncoming cyclist's path is a horrible idea.

Skip Montanaro 12mi said:



h' 1.0 said:

I =always= stay right, and never give a salmon any opportunity at to pass on my left.

I'm sorry, h', but I am having trouble visualizing this. You're in a bike lane, which in most cases is going have you and adjacent traffic travelling in the same direction (say, both traveling SB on Halsted). You notice a NB salmon in the bike lane, so you move toward the curb or parallel parked cars. Wouldn't the salmon normally pass you on your left, closer to the traffic?

 

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