Hey Ladies! What are your biggest pet peeves as a woman cyclist?

Specifically what behaviors do you feel subjected to, especially those of other cyclists, that annoy/irritate/frighten you that you feel you disproportionately experience as a direct result of your gender identity.

I am exploring this as a possible topic for an upcoming video education piece. So hit me.

Feel free to send me your thoughts in an email (jason@activetrans.org) if you don't feel like sharing with the group.

Thanks all!

Jason Jenkins

Education Specialist

Active Trans

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Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Gort 12-mile Pinklegneep on September 26, 2013 at 8:51am

I'm sorry man but the first link you posted was from an absolute clown shoe of a performative masculinity PUA fedora goof site. Askmen dot com is some of the grossest inane crap around town and should only ever be mocked mercilessly forever. Mind, that link was just from a forum page on their discussion whatever referring to some vaguely-recalled study that might've been involved in some book somewhere, but dohoho. 

Respect in relationships is just a human thing. Framing it as important to men is plenty of trouble right there. There's also a pretty big historical relationship between emphasis on honor and glorification of violence. It's totally morally sound to dismiss it, particularly when it plays out as it did in here where saying "hey dude - that thing you are doing is not cool" becomes time to turn this whole buggy around because suddenly we have to make it all about some dude's feelings. 

Permalink Reply by Gort 12-mile Pinklegneep on September 26, 2013 at 8:57am

I realize I'm just enabling this derail into Guy Feelings but it's not even a little bit unusual that a space for women to relate experiences that bother them gets jacked by dismissal and then honorbluster. 

Permalink Reply by Tom Dworzanski on September 26, 2013 at 9:22am

You didn't understand. I said it was the most important thing. As in it's required for amiability. Thanks for considering what I said.

Peenworm "8 mile" Grubologist said:

Respect in relationships is just a human thing. Framing it as important to men is plenty of trouble right there. There's also a pretty big historical relationship between emphasis on honor and glorification of violence. It's totally morally sound to dismiss it, particularly when it plays out as it did in here where saying "hey dude - that thing you are doing is not cool" becomes time to turn this whole buggy around because suddenly we have to make it all about some dude's feelings. 

Permalink Reply by Anne Alt on September 26, 2013 at 10:01am

Thank you!!!!


echo said:
 I think it's telling that a post asking WOMEN (or, at least, gender minorities) to discuss their GENDERED experiences has been basically hijacked and turned into sub-debates about how men feel.

Permalink Reply by Michelle on September 26, 2013 at 10:10am

How is honor "required" for amiability. You aren't a gumball machine. We don't have to put "honor" or "respect" in to you in order to get "amiability" out. Men are more than capable of being amiable in most situations, all on their own. If they decide not to be, that is their choice, not the fault of those who you're speaking to. That kind of thinking leads to dangerous things: like the common "nice guy" syndrome where a guy puts in "niceness" and expects "sex" to come out. People aren't like that. It doesn't work

Permalink Reply by Bez on September 26, 2013 at 10:22am

Can we perhaps move the conversation back to the things that bother women cyclists?

Frankly, I hear enough about how men feel, and how I'm supposed to feel as a man, and friendzoning, and how men strike back by being all misogynistic and shit.

I'm more interested in the things that happen to women as a result of being a female cyclist, because I may inadvertently be doing things that may make others feel uncomfortable and I'd like to at least be aware of being a dickweed (I swear I wasn't just checking you out, I like to check out bikes too...)

Permalink Reply by Tom Dworzanski on September 26, 2013 at 10:24am

The misunderstanding isn't in what I said. The misunderstanding is in my trying to explain how nuclear attacking an individual man's honor can be. This thread isn't about honor or men. I just felt bad for the guy to whom it was said. It's cool if you disagree or don't get where I'm coming from; this thread needs more women's issues.

echo said:

I re-read your post, and I'm not sure how peenworm misunderstood:

Emphasis added on a direct quote from you below:

When you talk about "honor" (which is defined as "high respect") in a dismissive way it is very destructive to a man's emotions because to men concepts like honor and respect are the pinnacle of emotional happiness...

So, perhaps you mistyped. Or are changing your mind. But it's definitely not a misunderstanding...


Tom Dworzanski said:

You didn't understand. I said it was the most important thing. As in it's required for amiability. Thanks for considering what I said.

Peenworm "8 mile" Grubologist said:

Respect in relationships is just a human thing. Framing it as important to men is plenty of trouble right there. There's also a pretty big historical relationship between emphasis on honor and glorification of violence. It's totally morally sound to dismiss it, particularly when it plays out as it did in here where saying "hey dude - that thing you are doing is not cool" becomes time to turn this whole buggy around because suddenly we have to make it all about some dude's feelings. 

Permalink Reply by Michelle on September 26, 2013 at 10:26am

Basically like... how would you treat another man? Treat a woman like that.

Bez said:

Can we perhaps move the conversation back to the things that bother women cyclists?

Frankly, I hear enough about how men feel, and how I'm supposed to feel as a man, and friendzoning, and how men strike back by being all misogynistic and shit.

I'm more interested in the things that happen to women as a result of being a female cyclist, because I may inadvertently be doing things that may make others feel uncomfortable and I'd like to at least be aware of being a dickweed (I swear I wasn't just checking you out, I like to check out bikes too...)

Permalink Reply by Bez on September 26, 2013 at 10:42am

Cool, I'm good then :)

Michelle said:

Basically like... how would you treat another man? Treat a woman like that.

Bez said:

Can we perhaps move the conversation back to the things that bother women cyclists?

Frankly, I hear enough about how men feel, and how I'm supposed to feel as a man, and friendzoning, and how men strike back by being all misogynistic and shit.

I'm more interested in the things that happen to women as a result of being a female cyclist, because I may inadvertently be doing things that may make others feel uncomfortable and I'd like to at least be aware of being a dickweed (I swear I wasn't just checking you out, I like to check out bikes too...)

Permalink Reply by Michelle on September 26, 2013 at 10:47am

It's not really rocket science. We aren't really asking for that much... just for common decency, and treated like we have brains and feelings... 

Bez said:

Cool, I'm good then :)

Michelle said:

Basically like... how would you treat another man? Treat a woman like that.

Bez said:

Can we perhaps move the conversation back to the things that bother women cyclists?

Frankly, I hear enough about how men feel, and how I'm supposed to feel as a man, and friendzoning, and how men strike back by being all misogynistic and shit.

I'm more interested in the things that happen to women as a result of being a female cyclist, because I may inadvertently be doing things that may make others feel uncomfortable and I'd like to at least be aware of being a dickweed (I swear I wasn't just checking you out, I like to check out bikes too...)

Permalink Reply by Bez on September 26, 2013 at 10:52am

Just so we're clear, I'm fully aware of all of that and like to think that I treat people pretty much equally regardless.  The whole appropriated the thread into men's feelings thing annoyed me enough to post.

Michelle said:

It's not really rocket science. We aren't really asking for that much... just for common decency, and treated like we have brains and feelings... 

Bez said:

Cool, I'm good then :)

Michelle said:

Basically like... how would you treat another man? Treat a woman like that.

Bez said:

Can we perhaps move the conversation back to the things that bother women cyclists?

Frankly, I hear enough about how men feel, and how I'm supposed to feel as a man, and friendzoning, and how men strike back by being all misogynistic and shit.

I'm more interested in the things that happen to women as a result of being a female cyclist, because I may inadvertently be doing things that may make others feel uncomfortable and I'd like to at least be aware of being a dickweed (I swear I wasn't just checking you out, I like to check out bikes too...)

Permalink Reply by Sarah D. on September 26, 2013 at 11:13am

Jason,

I'll answer the original question:

Shoaling and catcalls (or waving me through stops when I don't have the right of way - seriously annoying) top my list, too, but also the idea that it's still not super easy to find the perfect bike for me. I'm a pretty standard size - a little tall - and I have a hard time getting a perfect fit on a regular-priced (800-1300$) road-style bike, because bike geometry for road bikes still reflects a long torso, which I don't have. And clothes. I love the new bike-friendly, well-designed gadgets, accessories, and fashions out there for women, and patronize some companies heavily who do it right (hello PoCampo), but where are decently priced reinforced tights and jeans for women who ride bikes? Or non-ugly merino cycling sweaters/jackets for colder weather? I'm still fuming that Levis made their Commuter bike jeans line only for men - that is just plain wrong. We all want to look foxy but be practical and not be considered dabblers in transportation cycling. Let's see some effort made for women's stuff that makes that kind of sense. 

Thanks for asking.

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