Think of this as a Missed Connection.

You blew the red light east bound on Lawrence at Damen at 5:26 pm this evening.

 

There was enough time for the biker in front of me to make it half way into the intersection, northbound on Damen, before you came whizzing past my front wheel.

 

I yelled "You're an idiot!" at your big haired chick, self, and you looked back at me. I meant it!

 

I woulda testified for any of the cars, that managed to not kill you, if they had.

 

Keep riding like a tard!

love,

gabe

 

Witness bad behavior during your commute? Feel free to post. Maybe that lovely human can read it and think they are famous. Maybe you can also inspire the whole generation of kids to shower but we can start with small things.

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Permalink Reply by Derek on May 13, 2014 at 8:26am

I was commuting home down Grand and was slowly edging along side the stopped traffic to get up to Milwaukee when a door start to swing open in front of me.  Apparently the car was going to swap drivers in the stopped traffic.  I yelled, "door!" and the elderly gentleman gave me a startled look, closed the door, let me pass and then got out to finish his Chinese fire drill.

The light turns green and I head north on Milwaukee.  It seems the new driver had a bone to pick with me though as she pulls right along side the bike lane, matching my casual pace, and then stepped on the gas.  Ok, I get it, maybe I could have stopped in time without yelling 'Door!' but what she failed to realize was that car had some serious power and it pulled hard to right as she hammered the gas, enough so that I had to swerve into the parking lane to not get sideswiped... that'll get your heart going.

I tried to make eye contact as she sat in traffic waiting for the red light at Chicago but she resolutely gripped the wheel and stared forward.  The Chicago light turns green and she pulls the same shit, gets right next to me in the bike lane and steps on it. (There's not a lot of time to pull a maneuver like that in the block and 1/2 before Ogden so I assume she's really trying to say something here)  Of course we're all stopped at the Ogden light now and by this time I'm more than slightly concerned so I pull on to the sidewalk at the light and wait for her to pass.  She's a few cars back when the light turn green, traffic and other bikes start to go but she refuses to proceed past my position on the sidewalk, simply sitting about 5 car lengths back from the light staring forward.  Eventually the honks from cars behind seem to persuade her to move along and forfeit her 3rd attempt to kill me.  That was a special encounter.  

In retrospect waiting in line with traffic on Grand(I'm really not sure this is much safer) or using a bell vs yelling may have prevented this madness.  It took all my will power to not go out and have a few words with her while she was holding up traffic on Milwaukee waiting to buzz by me again.

(btw it was a BMW 7 series)

Permalink Reply by Tricolor on May 13, 2014 at 8:34am

I've never heard of torque steer in a 7 Series.  The driver probably couldn't hold on to the wheel or something.

Permalink Reply by Derek on May 13, 2014 at 10:26am

That seems likely or maybe giving me the evil eye since there wasn't any sway the second time she buzzed me.

Tricolor said:

I've never heard of torque steer in a 7 Series.  The driver probably couldn't hold on to the wheel or something.

Permalink Reply by David P. on May 14, 2014 at 10:29am

I know what you mean when you say that if you had filed in behind traffic on Grand you could have avoided that craziness, but I think it also subtly misassigns responsibility. Trying to change our behavior in order to prevent unpredictable crazy, hostile or dangerous behavior by others is a fool's game. The responsiblity was hers and only hers. I've never had something quite that bad happen to me, but when something like that does happen the first thing I do is usually stop, take my phone out and take a picture of both the car with plate, and if possible the driver. If more is needed, call 911 and report what is happening and request police response.

Permalink Reply by Alex Z on May 19, 2014 at 1:56am

To the cyclist who passed me on the left within 6 inches on Washington this morning without warning: very dangerous. If I had veered only slightly to the left to avoid a pothole or some debris in the road, things could have been very bad for both of us. :finger wag:

Permalink Reply by Rich S on May 20, 2014 at 3:41am

It takes a special kind of stupid to be the tool that made me take avoiding action this morning turning onto Illinois. It was about 8am and I was heading south on Orleans making a left onto Illinois when you ran the red light going east on Illinois and forced me to swerve to miss you. The pedestrian crossing the street had to jump out of your way too. I would've t-boned your dumb ass if I was going straight through. 

Most people at that point might realize they were riding a bit douchey and maybe say something like sorry bout that. Hey we all make mistakes. But instead you do the turd move of shoaling at Wells, LaSalle, and Dearborn. You sir are a douche and a turd. 

Permalink Reply by Vilda on May 20, 2014 at 5:48am

You've spotted the seasonal Douche-Turd. Sadly they proliferate at this time of year.

Permalink Reply by Chris LaFrombois (8.5 mi - o.w.) on May 20, 2014 at 6:02am

They were out in full force this morning.

Vilda said:

You've spotted the seasonal Douche-Turd. Sadly they proliferate at this time of year.

Permalink Reply by Rich S on May 20, 2014 at 6:23am

There's usually a cluster of em at Milwaukee and Chicago. Was hoping the thunder storms in tonight's forecast would keep them at bay! 

Vilda said:

You've spotted the seasonal Douche-Turd. Sadly they proliferate at this time of year.

Permalink Reply by Vilda on May 20, 2014 at 6:46am

Depends on the region of your Douche-Turd. The non-showering Hipster variety will be out in force this evening as it is their only access to water. The yuppie Douche-Turd will be in hiding this evening as they scare easy.

Permalink Reply by Chris LaFrombois (8.5 mi - o.w.) on May 20, 2014 at 6:54am

This is the Douche-Turd supercell I got caught in this morning.

Rich S said:

There's usually a cluster of em at Milwaukee and Chicago. Was hoping the thunder storms in tonight's forecast would keep them at bay! 

Vilda said:

You've spotted the seasonal Douche-Turd. Sadly they proliferate at this time of year.

Permalink Reply by Crazy David 84 Furlongs on May 20, 2014 at 7:13am

Ya know that comments like referring to large clumps of bicyclers in this fashion makes you sound like an elitest that really doesn't support biking in general.  We have enough trouble with cars...

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