Think of this as a Missed Connection.

You blew the red light east bound on Lawrence at Damen at 5:26 pm this evening.

 

There was enough time for the biker in front of me to make it half way into the intersection, northbound on Damen, before you came whizzing past my front wheel.

 

I yelled "You're an idiot!" at your big haired chick, self, and you looked back at me. I meant it!

 

I woulda testified for any of the cars, that managed to not kill you, if they had.

 

Keep riding like a tard!

love,

gabe

 

Witness bad behavior during your commute? Feel free to post. Maybe that lovely human can read it and think they are famous. Maybe you can also inspire the whole generation of kids to shower but we can start with small things.

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Permalink Reply by Vilda on August 19, 2013 at 12:06pm

What a fucking ride home! From 5:10 pm to 6 pm.

To the fat, black, bitch that all most hit me twice on Division/Clybourn just to park by the projects: You've had your 2 strikes. 1 more and you will lose parts off your car!

To the aggressive biking, butchy ,white, chick that doesn't know to not follow close. You hit my rear tire. I stopped and asked if you were all right because I found it amusing. The words you are looking for are "I'm sorry." I let you pass me at the light cause you AREN'T FAST! I was more than amused when when the frat-guy lookin, asshole shoaled you. You looked SO MAD. You kinda suck at life honey.

To the black, chick in the white SUV at Damen and Sunnyside that got mad at me cause I stopped at the stop sign when YOU had the right of way. Learn to drive.

We need less humans on this planet.

Permalink Reply by Vilda on August 19, 2013 at 4:08pm
I've said it so often I should be gettinpaid but Few Distillery makes a Rye that is outstanding! Scarlett, if i see ya on a ride i'll share whatever I have.



Hello Scarlett said:
i like all this catharsis. saddle up to the bar gabe, and lemme pour you some whiskey so we can bitch about all the morons we encountered today.
Permalink Reply by Maurice on August 20, 2013 at 5:28am
Soccer mom in the silver minivan driving past a school while looking down at your cell phone. If your phone requires that much attention, pull to the curb and stop before you murder some kid. At least consider stopping at the stop sign and not rolling through it full speed into me when I have the right away. Or, if you're going to roll it, just keep going so I can swerve behind you, instead of stopping directly in front of me leaving me stuck in the intersection. Then, when you suddenly turn right with no signal, don't drive next to me while slowly inching closer until I'm wedged between you and parked cars, forcing me to scream, "What the f@#$ are you doing?"

Y'know what? Just put down the phone and none of this would have happened, you self-centered jerk.
Permalink Reply by Tony Adams on August 20, 2013 at 6:48am

I propose a gesture - hand to your head in the old school telephone position, then very exaggeratedly hang up your pretend phone. And smile! A very big fake smile, or a real one!

Maurice said:

Soccer mom in the silver minivan driving past a school while looking down at your cell phone. If your phone requires that much attention, pull to the curb and stop before you murder some kid. At least consider stopping at the stop sign and not rolling through it full speed into me when I have the right away. Or, if you're going to roll it, just keep going so I can swerve behind you, instead of stopping directly in front of me leaving me stuck in the intersection. Then, when you suddenly turn right with no signal, don't drive next to me while slowly inching closer until I'm wedged between you and parked cars, forcing me to scream, "What the f@#$ are you doing?"

Y'know what? Just put down the phone and none of this would have happened, you self-centered jerk.
Permalink Reply by Chicago Jen on August 20, 2013 at 8:03am

To: Fast people on road bikes during regular morning commute times on the LFP.....including the gentleman with the headphones who nearly took out me and a runner by NAB this morning.

I know you are fast. Very, very fast. Your amazing bikes, super cool helmets, and matching spandex suits are testimony to the fact that you are indeed very, very fast.
I respect your speed. I respect the fact that most of you look great in spandex. I also respect your need to train, and the fact that you are a superior biker. I would just request that you:
a) keep your eyes on the traffic in front of you as people are commuting to work at that time and dodging runners/pedestrians, and
b) give some effing indication that you are going to be passing me at warp speed, usually right at the moment when I am moving over to pass a runner/pedestrian/pile o sand. I do look before I move, but you are so terribly fast that sometimes I do not see or hear your fast-ness approaching.

If you could add a few precious ounces on your bike to accommodate a bell and/or give an “onyerleft”, the slower commuter contingent would be eternally grateful. Thanks in advance.

To: The runner that I passed close enough to push off the path and scare the hell out of. I’m really very sorry. I hope that slowing down and apologizing profusely was sufficient damage control against promoting hatred of bikes.

Permalink Reply by Tim S on August 20, 2013 at 8:04am

Hah, one of my favourite moves. It tends to annoy them quite a bit. 

Tony Adams 7 mi said:

I propose a gesture - hand to your head in the old school telephone position, then very exaggeratedly hang up your pretend phone. And smile! A very big fake smile, or a real one!


Permalink Reply by Anne Alt on August 20, 2013 at 8:18am

Love it!

Tim S said:

Hah, one of my favourite moves. It tends to annoy them quite a bit. 

Tony Adams 7 mi said:

I propose a gesture - hand to your head in the old school telephone position, then very exaggeratedly hang up your pretend phone. And smile! A very big fake smile, or a real one!


Permalink Reply by Maurice on August 20, 2013 at 5:27pm
I guess the phone was incidental. On my return commute this evening, a guy pulled out of a surface lot directly into my path in the bike lane on Des Plaines and then just stopped for no apparent reason. This was at 8:30pm, so there was zero car traffic preventing him from continuing, and I was extremely visible with my very bright head light.

He tried to say something to me but didn't realize that whatever he said was completely inaudible through his rolled-up car window. I can't read lips very well, but it didn't look anything like, "I'm sorry."
Permalink Reply by Vilda on August 27, 2013 at 3:42pm

Had a few.

To the lovely lady i had a nice chat with while riding home northwest on Clybourn yesterday. Thanks for makin the ride home better. Started with me seeing ya comin up from behind in traffic and me moving over. You yelled "i'm not in a hurry to get to the red light." Good. Hope for the universe.

To the dude that was in front of me at the red light last monday when i got hit. Thanks for checkin on me when you saw me in traffic today. Much appreciated. More hope for the universe.

To the old woman in the orange 4 door wagon that accelerated to break neck speed to cut me off with a right hook at Montrose and Damen. I know you heard every awful thing i yelled. And you're lucky I wasn't holding my u-lock or it woulda been WAY worse for ya. Bitch. Oh well, 2 outta 3.

Permalink Reply by Julia 3.5/7.5 mi on August 27, 2013 at 5:11pm

Was this me?? Webster-ish to Diversey?  Lovely to chat with you too! Always makes the ride more fun :)


Vilda said:

To the lovely lady i had a nice chat with while riding home northwest on Clybourn yesterday. Thanks for makin the ride home better. Started with me seeing ya comin up from behind in traffic and me moving over. You yelled "i'm not in a hurry to get to the red light." Good. Hope for the universe.

Permalink Reply by Vilda on August 27, 2013 at 5:23pm
Did we talk about the placement of the traffic sign in the bike lane in front of taco bell?
Permalink Reply by Kat on August 29, 2013 at 6:17pm

To the guy who was flying up Milwaukee and very nearly hit a blue Smart car legally proceeding through the intersection at Oakley and then proceeded to flip off the driver of said Smart car (twice):

You should be very thankful that my husband was driving my car instead of me.  If I had seen your dick move, or if God forbid you had hit my car, I would have chased you down and gone vigilante on your ass.  I already hate bikers who blatantly disregard the rules of the road, but by flipping off my husband (who was totally obeying the law) you proved yourself to be a complete asshole and helped perpetuate the popular negative stereotypes about cyclists.  Thanks douchebag.  

I just hope that the karma bus finds you one of these days!

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