The Chainlink

You blew the red light east bound on Lawrence at Damen at 5:26 pm this evening.

 

There was enough time for the biker in front of me to make it half way into the intersection, northbound on Damen, before you came whizzing past my front wheel.

 

I yelled "You're an idiot!" at your big haired chick, self, and you looked back at me. I meant it!

 

I woulda testified for any of the cars, that managed to not kill you, if they had.

 

Keep riding like a tard!

love,

gabe

 

Witness bad behavior during your commute? Feel free to post. Maybe that lovely human can read it and think they are famous. Maybe you can also inspire the whole generation of kids to shower but we can start with small things.

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There needs to be a "Shoalers gunna shoal" meme.....

Anne Alt said:

To the slow guy on the antique folding bike in the Dearborn bike lane - I'm slow because I'm recovering from an injury, so right now nearly everyone is passing me. I'm okay with that. But you're so slow that even I needed to pass you. Your persistent shoaling at every single intersection got old really fast, especially to people who were much faster than me. You were getting stuck at every single light even when shoaling. Why not hang back, relax and stop annoying people?

SCENE: Friday evening around 9:15p.

ME: Stopped on my bike in the far right lane of NB Damen at Montrose, waiting for the red light to turn green.

PEDESTRIAN: Walking W on the S side of Montrose, crossing legally as the pedestrian timer clicked down from around 9 or 10. 

YOU: Jimmy Johns delivery driver riding quickly up behind us on NB Damen, deciding to overtake all vehicles (myself and two cars) in the turning lane to turn right (EB) onto Montrose before the light turns green. 

First off, what the hell are you doing? You could have easily slowed down and fit between me and the car to make your right turn. Instead, YOU came skidding to a stop when the pedestrian came into view and, thankfully, only glanced him because of his reaction time and yours. When I yelled, "Hey it's a red light man!" you replied, "Well maybe he should look both ways!" to which I replied "Maybe you should look at the f***ing red light!" 

A real productive conversation had by all. In hindsight I probably could have trailed him, further excoriating him for his lack of care or humility. Instead I figured I'd just post it passive-aggressively on this site in hopes that the sandwich monger reads the pulps in between reckless delivery rides. 

Yes, you should have continued "excoriating" the freaky fast sandwich delivery cyclist.  That usually works.

Jordan Snow said:

SCENE: Friday evening around 9:15p.

ME: Stopped on my bike in the far right lane of NB Damen at Montrose, waiting for the red light to turn green.

PEDESTRIAN: Walking W on the S side of Montrose, crossing legally as the pedestrian timer clicked down from around 9 or 10. 

YOU: Jimmy Johns delivery driver riding quickly up behind us on NB Damen, deciding to overtake all vehicles (myself and two cars) in the turning lane to turn right (EB) onto Montrose before the light turns green. 

First off, what the hell are you doing? You could have easily slowed down and fit between me and the car to make your right turn. Instead, YOU came skidding to a stop when the pedestrian came into view and, thankfully, only glanced him because of his reaction time and yours. When I yelled, "Hey it's a red light man!" you replied, "Well maybe he should look both ways!" to which I replied "Maybe you should look at the f***ing red light!" 

A real productive conversation had by all. In hindsight I probably could have trailed him, further excoriating him for his lack of care or humility. Instead I figured I'd just post it passive-aggressively on this site in hopes that the sandwich monger reads the pulps in between reckless delivery rides. 

Who, ME?? 

"Salty much chicken legs?" Me speak pretty one day -- what's your native tongue?

As to whether I was the "shoaler" suspect, I don't think so.  (I ride mostly on the south side.)  I may qualify as being an "older gentleman" (53), but there's not too many cyclists out on the streets that are demonstratively "way" faster than me.  I mean, sure, there's a few roadies in full gear that blow me clean away while I am pushing my mountain bike, but I like to think that I can still hold my own with the pack. 

And as for "chicken legs", while not nearly as powerful as 20 years ago when I was in my bike messenger prime, my legs aren't to be confused with those that are breaded, salt & peppered, and come with hot or mild sauce (on the side) at your local Harold's.

Still spinning,

Curt(is)

Chitown_Mike said:

Salty much chicken legs?

Were you the unsuccessful shoaler this yesterday morning and didn't like the outcome?



curt(is) locke said:

No, your "missed connection" doesn't read as "I am morally AND physically superior" at all....

Chitown_Mike said:

You:  The older gentleman who doesn't like to stop for red lights at very busy intersections, move at a snail's pace, and like to shoal. 

Me:  The guy who stops and waits with traffic, big orange Seal Line backpack, WEARING a helmet, and way faster of a rider than you.

We meet again, but the morning this time.

YES, if you try to shoal me I will hold my line whether or not that puts YOU in a dangerous situation with traffic.  If you want to pass, open your useless flapper and say something, I left my crystal ball mount on my other bike and can't read your mind.  Don't get lippy because you waited 15 feet behind me and started rolling on the yellow to try to pass while I waited and went on green and still stayed in front of you.

I'll be out here everyday, rain or shine.

You internet trolls make me laugh; little quip or dig here and the world halts when called out on it.  I don't care for your narrative and "back in my day" reflections, the gentleman I brought into question has previously proven to me on numerous occasions to be a slower rider.  No judgement against his self-worth or moral nature, nor a boost to mine.  If he was a stronger rider, then go right ahead and pass me, but he isn't (sadly or otherwise); I just want to get home safely and not have to worry about dodging potholes and slower (not of less value) riders.  One is not indicative of the other, perhaps your inference of my previous experience as stated is lost upon your understanding of the English language.

My native language forgot a comma and some other arbitrary English language law of the land, whoops!



curt(is) locke said:

Who, ME?? 

"Salty much chicken legs?" Me speak pretty one day -- what's your native tongue?

As to whether I was the "shoaler" suspect, I don't think so.  (I ride mostly on the south side.)  I may qualify as being an "older gentleman" (53), but there's not too many cyclists out on the streets that are demonstratively "way" faster than me.  I mean, sure, there's a few roadies in full gear that blow me clean away while I am pushing my mountain bike, but I like to think that I can still hold my own with the pack. 

And as for "chicken legs", while not nearly as powerful as 20 years ago when I was in my bike messenger prime, my legs aren't to be confused with those that are breaded, salt & peppered, and come with hot or mild sauce (on the side) at your local Harold's.

Still spinning,

Curt(is)

Chitown_Mike said:

Salty much chicken legs?

Were you the unsuccessful shoaler this yesterday morning and didn't like the outcome?



curt(is) locke said:

No, your "missed connection" doesn't read as "I am morally AND physically superior" at all....

Chitown_Mike said:

You:  The older gentleman who doesn't like to stop for red lights at very busy intersections, move at a snail's pace, and like to shoal. 

Me:  The guy who stops and waits with traffic, big orange Seal Line backpack, WEARING a helmet, and way faster of a rider than you.

We meet again, but the morning this time.

YES, if you try to shoal me I will hold my line whether or not that puts YOU in a dangerous situation with traffic.  If you want to pass, open your useless flapper and say something, I left my crystal ball mount on my other bike and can't read your mind.  Don't get lippy because you waited 15 feet behind me and started rolling on the yellow to try to pass while I waited and went on green and still stayed in front of you.

I'll be out here everyday, rain or shine.

You don't care for my "narrative" -- well, at least I made you laugh.  As far as being "called out" on one's digs, I guess I thought I was calling YOU out on what I read to be your arrogance expressed in your original "missed connection."  For what it's worth, I didn't find your short story very compelling. 

Btw, I don't live under a bridge nor think of myself as a keyboard tough guy.  Maybe someday our paths will cross -- I'll try not to shoal you, brother.

Respectfully,

Curt Spins

Chitown_Mike said:

You internet trolls make me laugh; little quip or dig here and the world halts when called out on it.  I don't care for your narrative and "back in my day" reflections, the gentleman I brought into question has previously proven to me on numerous occasions to be a slower rider.  No judgement against his self-worth or moral nature, nor a boost to mine.  If he was a stronger rider, then go right ahead and pass me, but he isn't (sadly or otherwise); I just want to get home safely and not have to worry about dodging potholes and slower (not of less value) riders.  One is not indicative of the other, perhaps your inference of my previous experience as stated is lost upon your understanding of the English language.

My native language forgot a comma and some other arbitrary English language law of the land, whoops!



curt(is) locke said:

Who, ME?? 

"Salty much chicken legs?" Me speak pretty one day -- what's your native tongue?

As to whether I was the "shoaler" suspect, I don't think so.  (I ride mostly on the south side.)  I may qualify as being an "older gentleman" (53), but there's not too many cyclists out on the streets that are demonstratively "way" faster than me.  I mean, sure, there's a few roadies in full gear that blow me clean away while I am pushing my mountain bike, but I like to think that I can still hold my own with the pack. 

And as for "chicken legs", while not nearly as powerful as 20 years ago when I was in my bike messenger prime, my legs aren't to be confused with those that are breaded, salt & peppered, and come with hot or mild sauce (on the side) at your local Harold's.

Still spinning,

Curt(is)

Chitown_Mike said:

Salty much chicken legs?

Were you the unsuccessful shoaler this yesterday morning and didn't like the outcome?



curt(is) locke said:

No, your "missed connection" doesn't read as "I am morally AND physically superior" at all....

Chitown_Mike said:

You:  The older gentleman who doesn't like to stop for red lights at very busy intersections, move at a snail's pace, and like to shoal. 

Me:  The guy who stops and waits with traffic, big orange Seal Line backpack, WEARING a helmet, and way faster of a rider than you.

We meet again, but the morning this time.

YES, if you try to shoal me I will hold my line whether or not that puts YOU in a dangerous situation with traffic.  If you want to pass, open your useless flapper and say something, I left my crystal ball mount on my other bike and can't read your mind.  Don't get lippy because you waited 15 feet behind me and started rolling on the yellow to try to pass while I waited and went on green and still stayed in front of you.

I'll be out here everyday, rain or shine.

I'm puzzling over the "shoaling" phenomenon and wondering what's the big deal (I mean, it happens to me almost daily). I'm usually near the curb, and another cyclist in the lane stops a couple feet in front of me. Am I supposed to perceive this as an affront? Maybe someone can enlighten me. It doesn't seem to be a safety hazard. I hope it's not a tactic (the complaining about it, I mean) to divide us cyclists from one another.

Meanwhile, to the un-helmeted motorcyclist stopped northbound on Ashland turning west onto Polk at about 5:40 this afternoon...

Yes, I noticed the rear swingarm of your dazzling white motorcycle... it was at least a foot longer than normal. I didn't need to hear you blipping your throttle to know that you fancy yourself a drag race king. The testosterone was practically palpable in the air, and I thought I saw some young women on the corner getting weak in the knees.

So my question is this: have you ever actually taken that thing to a strip? (I'll bet not.)

Steve

The anti-'shoaler' crowd is just upset that there's someone out there that doesn't think like them! (Gasp!)
As someone else wrote, it's a victimless crime, and everyone 'shoaled' gets to their destination at the same time they would if they weren't 'shoaled'.
The term doesn't even make any sense. A shoal is a school of fish, all swimming together (which is why it also means large group, or crowd). So a shoaler should be someone who is part of the group. But in this context it means the opposite.
I think the reason for their umbrage is that the anti-shoaler is mad that someone doesn't conform to their groupthink notion that all bike riders are part of their merry (although here, not so merry) band of 'cyclists' who go on 'group rides' and do other 'cyclist' things that prove they're all part of the same 'bike nation' and follow all of the 'rules' that they make up for their 'group' but which have nothing to do with legal biking laws or even human behavior.
Well, get over it. People are individuals.
I looked up 'shoaling' when I was accused of it one day.
I usually avoid bike lanes because I don't need some a-hole passing right by me way too close on the left (and right). They pass closer than cars. But I wanted to eat something I couldn't get near home, so I went downtown and took Wells St. There were very few bikers in the bike lane, so all seemed fine. Some female 'cyclist' passed me, no problem, then got stopped at the light at Grand. I stopped to the right of her, did not pass, waited at the light the same as her, but she just HAD to tell me that what I was doing "was considered 'shoaling', and it's rude". I was too puzzled to respond. What the f was she talking about? I researched it, and realized she expected me to sit my ass behind her (as if I was part of her 'group'). Yeah, right. Check the laws, sis. It's perfectly legal for bikes to be two abreast in the bike lane. And whoever gets out of the gate faster at the green goes first. It's pretty simple. But no. I was guilty of the 'crime' of violating her dumbass notion of the 'rules', though I hurt no one.
I suppose the next time this happens I can make fun of the absurdity of the whole thing. Maybe I'll start biking in circles and say "Shoaling? I'm a school of fish? Don't fish swim in circles?"
Or maybe I'll pop a wheelie and say "Shoal? I'm a school of fish? Can fish do this?"

I love it when people have no idea what they are talking about express outrage at a concept they don't understand....

The thing that upsets people about shoaling is not simply the act of passing somebody while they wait for the light; I'm not sure anyone gets upset by that alone.

Shoaling is offensive when it is done repeatedly, by the same person, light after light.  There are people out there who will edge around you at a stop light or stop sign only to become a moving road block you need to pass before  the next stop light.  Then they once again edge past you and force you to pass them again over and over again...  It is annoying to have a slower rider continually pass you at lights only to force you swing into traffic to pass them when moving.  

If you find yourself being passes over and over again by the same person between lights just let them in front of you at the next light, it's the polite thing to do.

The person who accused me of 'shoaling' didn't understand the concept. So why did they say it? It's the whole mindset of these 'cyclists' that I'm making fun of.

I believe the definition of shoaling in question is:

A sandy elevation of the bottom of a body of water, constituting a hazard to navigation; a sandbank or sandbar.
One cyclist in front of the next until we have a sandbar 15 feet past the stoplight.
/
I happen to agree with DUG, shoaling happens, and it's really only annoying when it's obvious that multiple cyclists are passing the shoaler each light only to reset the absurdity at the next.
/
I also agree with Shawn that it's really only particularly frustrating because a shoaler doesn't to conform to my interpretation of the safest way to bike in Chicago much like a shoaler probably finds it annoy they need to continually wedge past all the people that passed them since the last light disrupting their perfect timing of the light. 
/
Both views are egocentric. That doesn't mean we can't try to get along.

notoriousDUG said:

I love it when people have no idea what they are talking about express outrage at a concept they don't understand....

The thing that upsets people about shoaling is not simply the act of passing somebody while they wait for the light; I'm not sure anyone gets upset by that alone.

Shoaling is offensive when it is done repeatedly, by the same person, light after light.  There are people out there who will edge around you at a stop light or stop sign only to become a moving road block you need to pass before  the next stop light.  Then they once again edge past you and force you to pass them again over and over again...  It is annoying to have a slower rider continually pass you at lights only to force you swing into traffic to pass them when moving.  

If you find yourself being passes over and over again by the same person between lights just let them in front of you at the next light, it's the polite thing to do.

I think I understand now. If there are many cyclists involved, there's a sort of "critical mass" extending out into the intersection, which is potentially dangerous. If it's just one or two, then it's a convenient way for a rider to justify getting his or her chamois in a twist. ;-)

Steve

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