'Little Bike People' are taking over, like it or not
'Little Bike People' are taking over, like it or not
By Brian Moore @brithewebguy RedEye November 21, 2013
‘Extra-Large Car People,’ we forgive you.
It’s not your fault you are so insufferable. You don’t know any better. American culture has shaped your sense of entitlement from the days you were in diapers playing with your first toy truck. It’s hard to grow up and grow out of those habits.
So, you’re forgiven.
You’re forgiven for contributing to Chicago’s paralyzing traffic woes.
You’re forgiven for slowly helping destroy the earth’s environment.
You’re forgiven for adding to the decay and destruction of Chicago’s roadways.
You’re forgiven for enabling people to charge hundreds of dollars per month for garage parking spots.
You’re forgiven for allowing the state of Illinois to continue the tollway system that was supposed to end after construction bonds were repaid decades ago.
You’re forgiven for exacerbating our sedentary lifestyle and overall degradation of Americans’ health (and thus driving up health-care costs) by sitting in your car for hours and hours per week.
But you’re not forgiven for being pompous jerks who feel as though the roads were made for you and only you and have no regard for the safety of bikers or pedestrians.
Even Little Bike People have to draw a line somewhere.
We won’t look the other way as you bully your way through the city in your Douchemobiles. More and more of us are taking to the streets on our fixies, our mountain bikes, our folding bikes, our street bikes, making sensible decisions about commuting that actually contribute to the overall well-being of the city.
City Hall supports us.
Bike racks can be found on almost every block downtown—and more pop up all the time. New bike lanes are being added at a rapid pace, rightly taking over street parking, driving lanes, turn lanes. New laws have been enacted just to protect bikers from the monsters on four—or more—wheels.
The city has even joined the revolution, introducing the Divvy bike-share program that has already become one of the largest and most successful in the world. Yes, the world.
Like gay marriage, which went from being recognized at a glacial pace to the full-blown snowball barreling down the side of a mountain, bikers’ rights are growing in leaps and bounds.
We don’t blame you for being scared, Extra-Large Car People. The Little Bike People are coming hard and fast, like you do in those 2-ton missiles at yellow lights.
We’re coming for your streets.
We’re coming for your parking spots.
We’re coming for your self-entitled sense of ownership of the roads.
We’re coming, and we’ve got Mayor Emanuel on our side. We’ve got the law on our side. And we’ve got science on our side.
It was a good ride while it lasted for you, Extra-Large Car People, but your days are numbered.
And the Little Bike People are doing the counting.
http://www.redeyechicago.com/news/redeye-bikers-forgive-car-drivers...
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Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Doug Haynes on
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Exactly the kind of language, and article, that helps to foster the tension between those who drive and those who bike...
Serge Lubomudrov said:Douchemobiles! Cool ;)
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Permalink Reply by Fran Kondorf on
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Hooray for Brian Moore- I thought the Redeye was only good for celebrity hairstyle announcements and lining bird cages.
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Permalink Reply by Tank-Ridin' Ryan on
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It's also great as a firestarter.
Fran Kondorf said:Hooray for Brian Moore- I thought the Redeye was only good for celebrity hairstyle announcements and lining bird cages.
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Permalink Reply by Mark on
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Makes a good fly swatter.
Tank-Ridin' Ryan said:It's also great as a firestarter.
Fran Kondorf said:Hooray for Brian Moore- I thought the Redeye was only good for celebrity hairstyle announcements and lining bird cages.
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Permalink Reply by h' Zerocats on
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Tremble, little bicycle man,
You'll never settle any of your scores
Your grace is wasted in your face,
Your boldness stands alone among the wreck
Now learn from your mother or else spend your days biting your own neck.
Jeff Schneider said:"The Little Bike People are coming hard and fast..." Poetry.
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Permalink Reply by Anne Alt on
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Ooh, I can hardly wait to see how bad it might be a year or two from now. ;)
Cameron 7.5 mi said:Hey now, do you have any idea how hard it's gotten for the Redeye to continue to be written at a lower level than the Tribune? If the Tribune Co's publications are going to maintain their old hierarchy the Redeye is going to have to pick up the pace in the race to the bottom.
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