Malört Water Bottles by Specialized These are Real. And you need one.

I saw this guy at Critical Mass October and tracked them down! Just kidding - we made these - me and a buddy, and they're SUPER limited supply. Purist 22oz Bottles by Specialized

Just wanted to make the community aware. Because - these are Chicago as shit.

malortwaterbottles.bigcartel.com

PM For local delivery or email malortwaterbottles at gmail dot com

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Will water kept in this bottle for too long taste like sadness?

-adam

Likely, yes it will. If sadness tastes like delicious, golden, wormwood flavored Malort, then yes.

best lid on a water bottle i've ever had... :) just buy one.  they're rad

So its my impression that people who drink Malort only do so to see the reaction on someones face after that person has first tried Malort. Is this true? It has been for most of my experiences with it.

I think there is some validity to that, like riding a freak-bike there's a bit of showbiz to it. But it also shows a passion for the thing you love - bikes, liquor, whatever.

There's also the fact that it is a drink that's so damn Chicago that it feels like you got punched in the gut by Michael Jordan with a Deepdish pizza wrapped around his ring-clad fist.

It's like drinking the Architectural Boat Tour. 

It's like showing Ferris Bueller's Day Off in your tummy.

It's like a Second City show for your palette - I may have gone too far, but man I like this city...

That's why I love Malort. 

I was talking to a guy at an Ultimate tournament about Malort (I've only drank it with pool shark gypsies in dive bars) and how Chicago it is. He was saying that there is a distillery in the works somewhere here and that it is a very Chicago drink. I definitely fall into the category of only drinking it to see the reaction on someone else's face. But I also think a part of me is hoping that its an acquired taste that I will "get" sometime. Sadly this has yet to happen.

Spoken like a true poet.

tim de la motte said:

I think there is some validity to that, like riding a freak-bike there's a bit of showbiz to it. But it also shows a passion for the thing you love - bikes, liquor, whatever.

There's also the fact that it is a drink that's so damn Chicago that it feels like you got punched in the gut by Michael Jordan with a Deepdish pizza wrapped around his ring-clad fist.

It's like drinking the Architectural Boat Tour. 

It's like showing Ferris Bueller's Day Off in your tummy.

It's like a Second City show for your palette - I may have gone too far, but man I like this city...

That's why I love Malort. 

True story:  just last week, I was talking to an office mate when the subject of Malort came up, but I couldn't remember what the name of the liqueur was, so I asked him, "What's the liqueur from Chicago that tastes like licorice and sadness?"  The answer came quicky, "Oh you mean Malort!"

"What's the liqueur from Chicago that tastes like licorice and sadness?" "Oh you mean Malort!"

LOL that should be on a tshirt LOL. 

I would say Jaeger is more licorice-esque and Malört taste more like the wrung out washcloth in Goldie's.

These bottles are dope btw. Want to get some for the fam, are they still available?

You should have some available at the WP critical mass, full moon, and marauders rides.

Easy access to your target demographic. Easier sales after a couple of shots of Malort.

Or licorice that's been spit out by a cat, I guess. I think sadness is a good descriptor. 

And yeah, Colin we still have some: malortwaterbottles.bigcartel.com 

Follow us on Instagram too @malortwaterbottles

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