Why do most cyclists suck? Open invitation to the Church of Misfit Cyclists and Same Day Saints

Serious here. Every time I meet another cyclist, I'm totally put off. I just can't take the elitism / know-it-all attitude... Meet this dude at the north shore century and he was lecturing me about how "there's a time and place for 26 inch wheels" and it's not on a century. I ride a 26 wheeled LHT. I was like, man, I road this across the country... come at me bro. I've been riding seriously since like 92... don't lecture me about biking. Or perhaps it's me? I guess not everyone appreciates my dead hooker jokes?

Anyway, I'm looking for beer driven degenerates like myself who like to bike because it's awesome... because it makes you feel like a million flying erections. Not because you're saving the earth, or that ti frames, vintage frames, carbon frames give you some chubb. I want to booze, bitch about my wife, job, and generally thumb my nose at societal norms - e.g. making dick-fart jokes, laughing at fat brides eating an obscene amount of cake, talking about lesbian scissoring, etc. I don't want to hear about your community food co-op or how you and your wife don't have a car and you haul your kids around on one of those third world cargo bikes, or any similar hippy-feminist bullshit for that matter.

We need to take this sport back from hipsters, elitists, hammerhead health nuts, triathletes and know-it-all half asses. I you are like minded and appreciate such irreverence, come worship with me on the next weather permitting sunday at the Church of Misfit Cyclists and Same Day Saints. Contact Elder Mitch via PM for details. Praise his name.

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Permalink Reply by dietrich77 on January 2, 2013 at 6:04pm

Oh no, it's cool. I by no means was exclusionary in my post. You can bitch / complain about anything and I will tell you you're right and that it sucks.

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Permalink Reply by Juan Primo on January 2, 2013 at 6:18pm

I'm on irreverence overload at the moment but I could bitch about your wife it if helped.

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Permalink Reply by Doug Haynes on January 2, 2013 at 6:48pm

You had me up till the point you went off onto the 'hate filled douche' tangent there.

I agree there is, at times, a need to remove the elitism from cycling but I do not think that the manner to do it is to yourself become an elitist. The second you bash roadies, carbon nuts, hipsters or cargo moms you have become EXACTLY the person you described at the start who was bashing 26" wheels; think about it.

I'd really like to hang out with some people who just like to bike for the sake of biking and have a good time but I don't want to run the risk of being derided at your meeting because I like old steel bikes and like cargo bikes...

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Permalink Reply by Duppie on January 3, 2013 at 3:16am

You just sound like every other angry middle-aged white guy. If I want to hang out with another angry middle aged white guy, I'll just look in the mirror.

I think I'll pass.

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Permalink Reply by Far'arned Retrogrumpalunkus #63 on January 3, 2013 at 3:25am

Way to go by rolling the natural 1 on a detect irony saving throw...

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Permalink Reply by mike w. on January 3, 2013 at 3:26am

Eh, Meh...

Just another example that the biggest problem some cyclists have is with other cyclists.

Just ride.

And get over yourself. wouldja?

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Permalink Reply by dan brown on January 3, 2013 at 3:45am

this sure seems like troll bait...but after looking at previous threads; maybe not.

Elder Mitch - would you please care to elaborate ? i.e. you say "...most cyclists suck"; and then

"Every time I meet another cyclist..." ; but then you give a total of *one* example of someone

with a strong opinion about something cycling related. C'mon - let's be realistic here : every hobby/sport

is full of opinionated/passionate folks. I just shrug it off. I have met dozens and dozens of people via cycling (chainlink, etc.) and am hard pressed to remember a time someone really got under my skin.

let it go. is something else bothering you ? yeah I am pissed off about some things too but I just try to forget about it...

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Permalink Reply by Lanterne Rouge on January 3, 2013 at 4:27am

I see that 2013 is getting off to a roaring start around here.

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Permalink Reply by Apie (11) on January 3, 2013 at 6:38am

+1

Duppie said:

You just sound like every other angry middle-aged white guy. If I want to hang out with another angry middle aged white guy, I'll just look in the mirror.

I think I'll pass.

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Permalink Reply by Juan Primo on January 3, 2013 at 6:50am

I don't think cyclists have to hang around cyclists to just be cyclists. There are lots of subsets to the species, and that's why carbon guys race-train together, vintage guys drool over lugs, and freds bond over dreams of bigger racks.

We always seek out folks who have similar interests. I can't help you with your sense of humor or lesbian fantasies so maybe you'll be riding solo for a while.