Think of this as a Missed Connection.

You blew the red light east bound on Lawrence at Damen at 5:26 pm this evening.

 

There was enough time for the biker in front of me to make it half way into the intersection, northbound on Damen, before you came whizzing past my front wheel.

 

I yelled "You're an idiot!" at your big haired chick, self, and you looked back at me. I meant it!

 

I woulda testified for any of the cars, that managed to not kill you, if they had.

 

Keep riding like a tard!

love,

gabe

 

Witness bad behavior during your commute? Feel free to post. Maybe that lovely human can read it and think they are famous. Maybe you can also inspire the whole generation of kids to shower but we can start with small things.

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Permalink Reply by djm on July 17, 2012 at 7:53am

To the guy on the Schwinn fixie who couldnt stop for the red light at LFP x Illinois and had to bail in the street — perhaps a brake is in order.  You might want to try adding one before your next misadventure in traffic, especially given that you dont weigh yourself down with a helmet, either.

Permalink Reply by Vilda on July 19, 2012 at 2:01am
1015 am yesterday (wed). You are a chubby white chick with curly brown hair riding on Kinzie eastbound when for reasons others can ponder you leave that over funded buffered lane to cross behind a truck and into oncoming traffic where i had to slam on my brakes to not kill you. You then entered Kinzies bike lane on the my side and salmoned out of my rear view. While i'm glad your fat ass is on a bike you wont get to enjoy any gains you make if you are parked under a 3 ton vehicle. Every choice you made is ridiculous and i'm sure it won't be long til your dead but can you not choose suicide by my truck as your way to go? Thanks.
Permalink Reply by Vilda on July 26, 2012 at 4:45am
8:15 am southbound on Damen. Yellow bike- burnt orange back pack. You are very fast- now learn how to commute. You passed on the left between a car and me. You woulda been hurt and i woulda testified for the driver. You still got caught at the lights so i had to wait for you to make a huge right swing while still trying to clip in. On that big right swing ya almost nailed an older female rider in a blue skirt on a blue bike. She got tired of ur shit and blew your doors off. Keep your line. Pass safely. And learn to ride with those teeny peddles before you get killed.
Permalink Reply by dan brown on July 26, 2012 at 4:54am

go gabe!

Permalink Reply by NYC (7.0 mi) on July 26, 2012 at 7:51am

Dude and Girlfriend at 5:15 pm yesterday.  I don't know why you thought it was a cool move to cross through the crosswalk across Lincoln to then begin riding Southbound in the Northbound bike shallow 2 abreast as I went green (perfectly timed, of course) heading North.  Yes, that was a glare of dissapproval.  Hipster - teach your newbe girlfriend right!

Permalink Reply by Stephen on July 26, 2012 at 8:25am

Monday ~6:50PM - You were headed Westbound on the Kinzie protected lane (sorry didn't catch the make of your ride); I was in the back of the Blue cab that cut you off in front of Gilt.  My sincere apologies for the lack of concern the driver exhibited.  He got an earful from both my wife and I.  I hope you made it home safely.

Permalink Reply by Dovah Cat on July 27, 2012 at 9:18am

I thought of this thread this morning in Hyde Park. Can I have a go?

To the Suit in the Kia on 57th and Blackstone around 7 AM - if I had something less precious than the first hot cup of coffee of the day in my hand, I would've thrown it in your direction/dumped it on your car. You were already at the stop. You had the right of way, you were about to go. I stopped for you, waved you through, and you waved me back. No. I'm a vehicle, too. Go. You had the audacity to laugh, roll down your window, and tell me I needed to get a clue. I was too busy enjoying a lovely morning at the beach before work to care, but I'm regretting it now. 

Cheers, girl on the tri-colored Raleigh

And to the guy in the Jeep that almost hit me on 33rd last Thursday morning, I was totally checking you out until you continued to roll straight toward me. That, my friend, is not how you pick up a lady cyclist. Also, fix your squeaky brakes.  

Permalink Reply by Derek on August 7, 2012 at 4:32am

Today about 9am on Milwaukee just after Chicago.

Me:  shirtless with a backpack on a black commuter. 

You:  Oden-like on a mountain bike with knobby tires and a front shock riding on the leftmost white line of the bike lane. 

I'd like to take the opportunity to apologize again for my choice of words as I passed on your right, "Traditionally the guys riding slower stay to the right".  I wasn't trying to imply you were slow it's the fact that your bike has at least 10x the rolling resistance of most commuters and will likely be passed often.

I tried apologizing multiple times in a variety of methods when we met again at the Milwaukee and Grand lights to your repeated replies of, "Damn right you pissed me off!" and "This isn't a race LANCE!" or "HAVE A NICE DAY!!"  All of which would have made me feel much worse if you hadn't just sprinted to catch me on a downhill coast because you wanted to 'avenge' the passing.  

I'm glad other riders were around.  You looked about ready to pick up that Huffy and beat me with it.

Permalink Reply by Far'arned Retrogrumpalunkus #63 on August 7, 2012 at 4:50am

So slower riders need to constantly ride in the door zone now so Lance doesn't have to change lanes in order to properly  (and safely) pass???

Permalink Reply by Don on August 7, 2012 at 5:31am

Ha, I had to look up shoaling (fortunately I already knew the practice was rude) - actually that's what I'm going to post:

To the buff dude riding up Milwaukee from Armitage to Logan Square about 5:45 yesterday evening.  Ok I realize you're proud of your muscular arms and tats, otherwise you wouldn't be wearing a wifebeater and rolling 3 miles an hour on a beach cruiser.  But when I had to take the lane the first time to pass you (and I'm by no means a speedster), you'd think that waiting behind me at the next red light would be the sensible thing to do.  I guess that's just not your style though.  So thanks for making me take the lane to pass you 3 times because it was so important for you to get a head start at each stoplight, just to continue on your "ladies check me out" pace.  Hopefully you've arrived at your destination by now.

Gabe said:

To the young lady on a blue Schwinn traveling south at 2 mph on Damen ave/Barry around 830 am.

First of all Shoaling at 2 mph if someone has already passed you sucks. Maybe you don't know what shoaling on a bike is? Look it up.

Second, if a biker is stopped at a stop sign one would assume something large, on 4 wheels, made of metal, and can kill you is coming. The car in front of me had clearly signaled to turn and had the right of way when your tortoise ass passed me and entered the intersection. I saw you had brakes. Use them.

I apologized to the driver loud enough for you to hear. I doubt you learned but maybe.

Permalink Reply by Derek on August 7, 2012 at 5:39am

I guess we have a difference of opinion on what the door zone is.  Normally I figure just a bit to the left of center in the bike lane is out of the door zone.  Riding on leftmost white line on a bike lane down that stretch of Milwaukee in the morning is probably the most dangerous area.  

Now if I was zipping along at 20+ on my morning commute I could see the demonizing. But I was riding along at a gentle trot wondering how I could safely pass this polish roadblock in the bike lane.  I guess there's no way to win. I wanted to go faster than the slowest person which makes me the @sshole.

Short of saying nothing and going the pace of the slowest rider is there a course of action in which you would not find me at fault?  

James BlackHeron said:

So slower riders need to constantly ride in the door zone now so Lance doesn't have to change lanes in order to properly  (and safely) pass???

Permalink Reply by Far'arned Retrogrumpalunkus #63 on August 7, 2012 at 5:53am

It's really not that hard to take the lane, pass the dude, and pull back in.

I'm a faster rider when I'm on a faster bike.  20MPH isn't a big deal on a road bike.   But I'm a bit slower on my 40lb city tank with 10lbs of locks hanging off of it.   Probably not the slowest on the road -but neither the fastest.   In many parts of Milwaukee most of the "bike lane" or sharrows is in the door zone.    And no, I don't particularly like getting buzzed on the right either.    

The fact is that the person overtaking another road user DOES NOT HAVE the right of way. It is up to the person passing to pass safely -with 3-foot of clearance.  I find a lot of bicycle riders are just as rude to bicyclists as auto drivers -and behave nearly the same when passing them. 

I don't know all the details here, but I can see many situations where I'd pull all the way to the leftmost line of a bike lane. If I saw a person in a car, or if the cars were parked closer, or I saw a ped between the cars that may or may not step out at any moment.   

I can't see many situations where passing someone on the right is anything but a rude maneuver.

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