For the record, as soon as I started telling people I'd bought it at Target, they started asking if I'd has to tighten everything. Yes, in fact, that is absolutely true. Apparently Target's quality of assembly is infamous. It did ride home adequately, but had I not immediately then given it a thorough onceover the kickstand would've fallen off, and the shifters wouldn't hit all gears.

A month later, I looooooove this bike. So tough and fast and cheap and red and nameless. I recently found myself stammering through trying to explain, and the words actually came out freely "it's like sex with a machine"
Oh someday it'll hurt me, they all do, but the real problem is, it's clearly male.

For the record, a month later I had to remove the chain guard (cracked and lost screws), tighten the front derailleur cable, and drill a bolt through the stem to fix handlebar slipping.