Gotta love The Onion....

Full article and picture here.

FRANCE—Luxembourger Frank Schleck, a rider with the CSC team, emerged from the 182-kilometer underwater tunnel stage Monday triumphantly clad
in a soaked yellow jersey after braving electric seaweed, underwater
volcanoes, cyclist-trapping bubble fountains, carnivorous plants,
man-eating fish, and electric eels. "These stages are always a pain,"
said a visually exhausted Schleck, who went on to complain about the
stage's lack of turbo zones and power-ups. "I don't see why we have to
go underwater instead of riding through the Pyrenees... It was an
aerobic challenge to hold our breath for that long. By the end of it, I
only had one life left." The International Cycling Union says next
year's Tour will skip the underwater stage as well as the lava stage,
ice stage, and the stage where the riders are shrunk to the size of ants
and ride the equivalent of 120 miles through a candy store.