You blew the red light east bound on Lawrence at Damen at 5:26 pm this evening.

 

There was enough time for the biker in front of me to make it half way into the intersection, northbound on Damen, before you came whizzing past my front wheel.

 

I yelled "You're an idiot!" at your big haired chick, self, and you looked back at me. I meant it!

 

I woulda testified for any of the cars, that managed to not kill you, if they had.

 

Keep riding like a tard!

love,

gabe

 

Witness bad behavior during your commute? Feel free to post. Maybe that lovely human can read it and think they are famous. Maybe you can also inspire the whole generation of kids to shower but we can start with small things.

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This is actually pretty close to what I sing whenever someone shoals me. 

Of course, the person usually doesn't even knows what shoaling means and looks at me like I'm crazy, so maybe the joke's on me...


Tricolor said:

Shoaln' shoaln' sholan'

though the lanes are swollen

douchebags keep on shoaln'

douchbags!

They think you are saying Shaolin and you're gonna bust out KUNG-FU on them! :-)

That's actually still a possibility :)

Vilda said:

They think you are saying Shaolin and you're gonna bust out KUNG-FU on them! :-)

And John, I've had to explain shoaling to people as well, but yeah, lots of looks like I'm crazy. I think the best approach would be to say "If you were in a car and are coming up to a light, would you pull in front of the car that's in front of you? No? Then DON'T DO IT ON A BIKE.


Another old song that might serve:

I'll go no more a-shoaling, with you fair maid.
A-shoaling, a-shoaling, since shoaling's been my ru-i-n,
I'll go no more a-shoaling with you, fair maid.


Tricolor said:

Shoaln' shoaln' sholan'

though the lanes are swollen

douchebags keep on shoaln'

douchbags!

Me: riding south on wells between North Ave and Schiller on a divvy bike just a half hour ago. 

You: clearly pissed off about something also riding south on wells in front of me. You pulled out your u-lock and went up to a red sedan/economy size car in the right turn lane at schiller. She must have cut you off or turned into you earlier because you were ready to blow a gasket. You immediately started screaming at her and then hit her car multiple times with your u-lock knocking off her rearview mirror and scaring the sh*t out of her probably. I know it would have freaked me out to be assaulted like that. 

No matter what she did to you earlier on, you were not in grave danger at that point. You retaliated against her with violence and physically assaulted her and her car. Please be a better citizen/steward of the bike community.  

Also, your next turn - going right onto Evergreen, a one-way in the opposite direction - was a dick move. Presumably it was to flee the scene, but don't salmon in the future. I would have tried chasing you down, but I was riding a slow divvy and don't like to salmon. Also I'm a small female and I would have had nothing against your rage and your u-lock. 

I always fantasize about this after a close call.. then I take a few breaths and my rational side takes over.

SarahB4.0 said:

Me: riding south on wells between North Ave and Schiller on a divvy bike just a half hour ago. 

You: clearly pissed off about something also riding south on wells in front of me. You pulled out your u-lock and went up to a red sedan/economy size car in the right turn lane at schiller. She must have cut you off or turned into you earlier because you were ready to blow a gasket. You immediately started screaming at her and then hit her car multiple times with your u-lock knocking off her rearview mirror and scaring the sh*t out of her probably. I know it would have freaked me out to be assaulted like that. 

No matter what she did to you earlier on. You were not in grave danger at that point. You retaliated against her with violence and physically assaulted her and her car. Please be a better citizen/steward of the bike community.

Also, your next turn - going right onto Evergreen, a one-way in the opposite direction - was a dick move. Presumably it was to flee the scene, but don't salmon in the future. I would have tried chasing you down, but I was riding a slow divvy and don't like to salmon. Also I'm a small female and I would have had nothing against your rage and your u-lock. 

Feh, if the driver wasn't using the mirror anyway...

If you've been run over you don't have a life either...

Look at it this way.  Someone in a car would be happy to punch you in the nose if you start banging on their car, but they can't reach you, so you're going to get run over instead.  That or someone more timid just wants you away from them and can't push you away with anything other than a bumper.

It's like starting a fist fight with a guy wearing armor.  They can't see as well, they can't maneuver as well, but they pack a wallop when they hit.

Having seen a cab get his mirror knocked off by a cyclist. And then watching the cyclist get away while I laughed at the really angry cabbie (I also saw the cabbie swerve into the biker without looking). I think you underestimate the maneuverability of a bicycle on a city street

Like I said, if the driver wasn't using the mirror anyway...

I am a 140lbs of sexy, which usually doesn't fend well against 2 tons of steel (or plastic now a days) with an angry driver fueled by mcgriddle and ego.

Best response yet!

EssFresh said:

I am a 140lbs of sexy, which usually doesn't fend well against 2 tons of steel (or plastic now a days) with an angry driver fueled by mcgriddle and ego.

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