Think of this as a Missed Connection.

You blew the red light east bound on Lawrence at Damen at 5:26 pm this evening.

 

There was enough time for the biker in front of me to make it half way into the intersection, northbound on Damen, before you came whizzing past my front wheel.

 

I yelled "You're an idiot!" at your big haired chick, self, and you looked back at me. I meant it!

 

I woulda testified for any of the cars, that managed to not kill you, if they had.

 

Keep riding like a tard!

love,

gabe

 

Witness bad behavior during your commute? Feel free to post. Maybe that lovely human can read it and think they are famous. Maybe you can also inspire the whole generation of kids to shower but we can start with small things.

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Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by mike w. on June 14, 2017 at 11:23am

...and while you're at it, ditch the "Honey" and "sweetie" stuff.

Permalink Reply by Sarah D. on June 15, 2017 at 5:01am

Amen! Don't people realize that is NOT acceptable? Yuck. 

Permalink Reply by Yasmeen on June 21, 2017 at 12:27pm

Dear Watermelon shoaling man,

Please pass people (women) on the left when safe. Please don't pass on Dearborn by using the oncoming side of the bike lane (on the right) to pass 5+ cyclists. Goof.

p.s. thank you for wearing a watermelon helmet, I caught up with you just so I could snap a pic.

Permalink Reply by Julie M. on June 22, 2017 at 2:24am

Yasmeen, I thought this scene looked familiar, I guess I was one of the 5 cyclists on Dearborn.

Permalink Reply by Yasmeen on June 22, 2017 at 2:29am

Ha! So funny we both took a pic of watermelon helmet guy. Or is this video?

Permalink Reply by Julie M. on June 22, 2017 at 3:36am

Right, it's a screen grab from my helmet camera but I definitely remembered him from yesterday when I saw your picture :)

Permalink Reply by Tony Adams on June 29, 2017 at 10:30am

This is not the only Chicago rider with a watermelon helmet! There is at least one other guy - a bit older and in better shape (no, it isn't me) who is a very considerate, non-shoaling sharer of the bike lanes. 

I just mention this so that no-one yells at the wrong person. :)

Permalink Reply by Yasmeen on June 29, 2017 at 10:34am

We should definitely avoid throwing fruit at the poor guy. ;-) 

No harm, everyone was ok. Just made me laugh that he had a watermelon helmet and was shoaling a whole line of women. 

Permalink Reply by Rich S on June 29, 2017 at 3:23am

Cat 6 Douche on southbound Wells between Chicago and Ohio this morning: 

Thank you for telling me I should ride on the right side of the bike lane right next to parked cars. I hope you heard me telling you, no I'm not risking a door because you don't know how to pass. Learn to take the lane or stay behind. Wells during rush hour is not a race so settle your face down bitch boy. 

It was disappointing that you ran the red at Ohio right in front of me. I was really hoping to continue the conversation. 

Permalink Reply by Sarah D. on June 29, 2017 at 4:00am

Oy. F that guy!

Permalink Reply by daWillinChi on June 29, 2017 at 5:02am

LOL "Cat 6 Douche"

I like it!

Permalink Reply by Matt Talbert on June 29, 2017 at 4:20am

Last night on the CCC ride at Willow and Hibbard, someone in a Porche felt it necessary to charge hard to a red light while passing the group. As is standard on a group ride, I will yell "coming in hot" when there is an aggressive/potentially hostile driver approaching. The Porche driver stopped and said "HEY DICKFACE! I RIDE TOO YOU KNOW!" Then he continued to yell with inaudible rage. Since you also ride, there is a chance you will see this. All I was trying to do was protect the rest of the ride and let them know a hostile driver was approaching. I am surprised someone who says they also ride would drive so dangerously near a group of cyclists. Maybe realize our safety is more important than you getting to a red light 5 seconds faster or showing off how loud your Porche is.

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