http://www.dnainfo.com/chicago/20140326/humboldt-park/machete-wield...

I'm not a violent guy, but, these idiots need a beating.

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Last fall, I was riding home from the Loop down Augusta (to River Forest). Friday, about 6, still light out. I had just gone under the train overpass near Homan, when I saw about 10-15 kids on the sidewalk. None looked to be over 12-13 years old. And I remember thinking, "Hey, Ebert just died, maybe the West Side is about to erupt into violence?" (Ha.) Anyway, when I drew closer, they swarmed into the street. One pushed a rolling garbage can into the side of my bike, nearly knocking me off and breaking the fender. Another wacked me in the head with a big blue bag filled with what felt like telephone books. Nearly knocked my glasses off--luckily they stayed on, didn't want to have to stop. Not sure what these Lord of the Flies bastards were up to--just messing around, or looking to steal something--but luckily nothing fell (including my glasses) so I was able to keep going -- cursing them over my shoulder the whole way.

Coda: I now ride Fulton west to around Sacramento, then take Lake St.

Coda II: No comment on whether this is the knockout game or wilding or what have you. Whatever it is, whatever color they are/I am, doesn't matter... it sucks. I think we can all agree on that...

Fred, just thank God nothing worse happened. I'm debating on buying one of those giant chain locks that I could use as a whip if needed. I have relatives that live in Oak Park and I'm not sure if I could make the trip safely.

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