So people. Look. Every single day, at some point in my ride to work or from work or for errands or whatever, at least once, a man pulls up behind me, a woman, who is waiting at a light and just assumes, in the absence of other information (for I have been placidly waiting, perhaps, for a while) that I must be slower than he is,
He therefore thinks that he should aggressively pull in front of me or cut me off, because I, a lady, will only get in his way! Shortly, this gentleman and I both find that he actually isn't a faster or stronger rider than I am, and sometimes we discover this whilst, say, going over the river along Damen! Either way, I then have to pass him, which makes things less safe for both of us. Please, dudes. STOP DOING THIS. IT'S RUDE AND YOU'LL FEEL BAD LATER AND YOUR SELF-ESTEEM IS NOT MY PROBLEM.
I don't think it is about thinking about their life experience when you ask if they need a tube but thinking about it in how you perceive their reaction.
And, maybe, if you want thinking about how you can alleviate that negative reaction by being thoughtful with your language and actions.
No matter what at some point you're going to have a person be shitty; why dwell on it?
"Be friendly to your fellow cyclists...always. If they want to be assholes back, that’s their shit to deal with. Man or woman"
Maybe I'm wrong here but it's not about treating women differently as much as it is about thinking about how your well-intentioned words or actions could be interpreted as hostile by others because of their personal experience.
I have had women upset when I've offered help with things in the past; I never let it bother me because I just assume it is because they've had negative experiences that lead them to questions men's intent in those situations.
I just apologize and move on with my life because I know I am not the direct cause of their anger and that sort of thing is the exception, not the rule.
The idea that a woman cannot be sexist is complete baloney. I know that's blunt. Sexism isn't a one-way street. It may be predominantly one-way, but salmoning is a thing in this arena, too.
(I wasn't sure I'd be able to get cycling reference in!)
Thanks for sharing your thoughts Paul. Much appreciated.
Those examples are forms of sexism, but they are not the end of it. Any prejudice based upon sex is, by definition, sexism.
While all prejudice based on sex is technically sexism when people refer to sexism they are generally speaking about the entrenched male-dominated power structure that systematically craps on women.
For every incident where you can cry 'sexism' at a ma getting the short end of the stick, there are like eleventy-billion the other way.
I'll start worrying about my rights as a man when I actually have fewer than women.
Wow. Nothing like being told what I meant when it was pretty clear the first time and I took the time to clarify it again.
Tony, you clearly want a fight and I am not inclined to give you one.