Ultimatum for the bike thieves from the Loop Campus of Depaul at 9:15 pm

2 White kids on fixed gear bikes stole my Terry Fly Mens seat (the newer model with the honey comb pattern). Seat post (black, stock item from a redline 29'er monocog) and a black cyclocross style dual bottle cage holder that was mounted on the post (slightly modified from stock.)

You did this from 9:15 to 9:19 pm on 07/02 at the Depaul Loop Campus at 1 E Jackson.

I know this cause I work security there. I stayed late to watch the security footage of you.

Here's the ultimatum: You can return my gear to the Barnes & Noble give it to whomever you like and say its for "Gabe in Security." Do this and I won't pursue you. I won't press charges, nothing happens.

Don't do this and I'll wreck you. I will dedicate my time at work to hounding you. I will make your life miserable. I'll be at Critical Mass looking under the ass of every white trash piece of shit on a fixie. I'll be at alley cat's looking for you. And when i catch you...

Don't believe me? Ask around? Maybe you all ready know me and you didn't know it was my bike.

Why do I care so much if it's just a seat? Cause you are operating under the guise of being bikers in a "community" and that's bullshit. And i bet your friends know you move stolen bike parts. And that means i'm that much closer to you.

Return the bike parts and i stop. Don't, and I'll be everywhere; craigslist, ebay, swap meets, your house.

Get it?

▶ Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Michelle Loomis on July 4, 2013 at 3:44am

That hospital sucks for getting stuff stolen. I was a patient there and walked in the hallway for 10 minutes and came back to my wallet, cell phone and lap top taken. I am pretty sure it was the janitor... I had a mental picture of everyone around the room at the time and there were 2 janitors with linens bags standing outside.

globalguy said:

Erin suffered a very similar theft several weeks back in front of Northwestern Hospital.

▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by El Dorado on July 4, 2013 at 12:45pm

If the blue light crime cameras don't stop drug dealing and shootings, I doubt normal closed circuit cameras to stop bike theft. The truth is criminals don't care and ,sometimes, the people watching don't even care. This city is doomed.

▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by sosathirteen on July 5, 2013 at 5:13am

I'll help out, gabe! My brooks saddle AND post got ripped off similarly last fall in streeterville. still not over that.

Gabe said:

To be clear i didnt threaten death. Sodomy with a broomstick though...

▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Julia 3.5/7.5 mi on July 5, 2013 at 7:30am

ugh, Gabe this sucks. I'm so sorry. I lock up outside of the Reskin during the day, 1 E Jackson on certain weeknights. I'm glad you had a clear camera angle on these idiots. I don't know if you work with Jim in Public Safety, but when I last saw him in May, he mentioned that they'd caught a group of 3 guys taking bikes off those racks - CPD got one and two got away. I wonder if it's related? Regardless, I hope you catch up to these fools!

▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Vilda on July 5, 2013 at 8:57am

If i remember the May event it was black guys. These were white older teens or younger 20's.

▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Matt M. 18.5KM on July 6, 2013 at 1:46pm

Perfect. LOL.

Mike Keating said:

jolondon30 said:

Let me restate your post in a more eloquent way.

▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Vilda on July 6, 2013 at 7:05pm

It's actually not my free time I'll be wasting. I get paid to be perverse and violent. And i'm extremely good at it.

Davis, race is related here cause it's a description. If it had been 2 Hispanic kids i woulda said 2 hispanic pieces of shit. See how that works?

And i would guess that these 2 white trash pieces of shit didn't only steal my seat/post/bottle cages. They steal many things from people. I think that sodomizing them with broomsticks is actually not to bad considering what they really deserve.

And thank you for all your advice. :-)

▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Juan Primo on July 7, 2013 at 3:29am

You do want to dial it down, Gabe in Security. You've already identified who you are, where you work, and what you do, the fact that you do your personal stuff at work, and made a specific aggravated sexual assault threat.