To the D-Bag cyclist on the path this morning

You were wearing a blue jersey and a most unpleasant expression. First you tailgated me for a long time and then, when I had to slow down for a cyclist in front of me whom I couldn’t pass immediately because there was
another bike coming from the other direction, you passed me, almost hitting the
oncoming cyclist, and yelled something at me. A verbal expression of your annoyance
at me for being in your way, I assume. I called you a word that is also
commonly used to describe the outermost component of the human excretory system,
and yelled at you not to tailgate. You shot me the finger so I decided to tailgate
you, which wasn’t difficult at all since you’re not nearly as fast as apparently
you think you are. I hope you appreciated how I very carefully stayed no more
than a few inches to your left, with my front wheel almost in line with your
rear wheel. A childish and potentially dangerous thing to do, I grant you, but
in the heat of the moment I acted like a child or, well, like you. I continued
this tailgating until you conveniently exited at Ohio Street. Oh, by the way, I
really liked how you also yelled at some joggers to get out of your way.


In closing, I just want say thanks for giving all cyclists a bad name and to express my wish that when you have the big crash you’re inevitably going to have, the only person you seriously injure is yourself.

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Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Craig S. on May 19, 2010 at 4:56am
Steve,

Thank you for this post. You've just validated my claims that there are just as many douche-tards on two wheels as there are driving four, no matter how many claims that we're just Shiny Happy Holding Hands unthinking people.

You must have been on the LFP. I'd rather ride on the Kennedy anymore than the LFP and it's simply because of the "cyclists" on that piece of pavement.
Permalink Reply by millenial removing Bernie tattoo on May 19, 2010 at 5:21am
Its called drafting when you're on a bike.
Permalink Reply by D on May 19, 2010 at 5:59am
I feel the same way about the woman rollerblading in the bike path north on dearborn last night -- all the way from Kinzie to Chicago Ave. You are (1) crazy; (2) slow; and (3) taking up the whole bike lane!
Permalink Reply by Doug Haynes on May 19, 2010 at 6:00am
A friend of mine used the phrase 'pathalete' to describe that type of rider; I like it.
Permalink Reply by Michael A on May 19, 2010 at 6:05am
I am not sure if it is the LFP or the NBT < i remember reading once the speed limit for bikes was 12mph.

I am guilty of 2x the speed limit, on a good day almost 3x
Permalink Reply by Matt M. 18.5KM on May 19, 2010 at 6:07am
seems alot of people are having a bad year...er day...or couple years...month... etc...
Permalink Reply by Duppie on May 19, 2010 at 6:12am
So you go almost 36 mph on your commute? Let me PM you Johan Bruyneels phone number. He'll offer you a contract just like that.....

Michael A said:
I am not sure if it is the LFP or the NBT < i remember reading once the speed limit for bikes was 12mph.

I am guilty of 2x the speed limit, on a good day almost 3x
Permalink Reply by Michael A on May 19, 2010 at 6:17am
cool, I could use a new job

ummm, it was sarcasm
Permalink Reply by millenial removing Bernie tattoo on May 19, 2010 at 6:21am
D said:
I feel the same way about the woman rollerblading in the bike path north on dearborn last night -- all the way from Kinzie to Chicago Ave. You are (1) crazy; (2) slow; and (3) taking up the whole bike lane!

Or all the joggers who make 90-degree left turns without looking behind them.

I dunno when the LFP goes to hell. Weekday mornings its great at 7 AM. But at some point in the day it turns to shit, and anyone who values their sanity just needs to get the fuck off the LFP. This cannot be said enough.
Permalink Reply by Tony Adams on May 19, 2010 at 6:36am
envane x said:
Its called drafting when you're on a bike.

It may be drafting if both parties are consenting, but when the draftee is not consenting, it is obnoxious and dangerous. The LFP, like any street or path is not a peloton. Racing rules and norms are not acceptable on the public right of way unless the street (or whatever) is closed and an actual race is happening there.
Permalink Reply by dan brown on May 19, 2010 at 7:20am
there are bad/rude/annoying drivers, pedestrians, cyclists, etc etc.
they all seem to think they own the path too.
amazing

my favorite LFP pet peeve is two-three abreast moms with BMW strollers each sipping a no-foam soy latte in one hand while tweeting their friends while they each have a trophy dog on a 5 ft. leash.

Yes - I'd rather ride on the expressway than navigate this..

DB

ERCHLVRSN said:
Sadly most people who now live in the city are from the suburbs or a smaller city and have little if any experience biking in the city or any urban environment. The lake front path (LFP) is the worst on so many levels mostly because many of the people who ride the path can’t ride well in traffic and use the LFP to commute.

It will only get worse later this summer as more people ride their bikes…
Permalink Reply by Dr. Doom on May 19, 2010 at 7:34am
My favorites are roadies who pass within inches without calling "on your left." I know it's annoying and I know it gets old, but I can't hear you behind me and if I swerve left to avoid a pothole/unleashed dog/small child and hit you because you couldn't be bothered to let me know you're there, your carbon frame is going to get it a lot worse than my steel one. None of which gets into why these people are effortlessly blowing by me during crowded commute hours when I'm going a perfectly reasonable 17, but whatever.

Moms with unleashed dogs, wobbly rollerbladers, people barbecuing on the path just south of 35th and what not are just clueless, these dudes are being dicks.

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