You blew the red light east bound on Lawrence at Damen at 5:26 pm this evening.
There was enough time for the biker in front of me to make it half way into the intersection, northbound on Damen, before you came whizzing past my front wheel.
I yelled "You're an idiot!" at your big haired chick, self, and you looked back at me. I meant it!
I woulda testified for any of the cars, that managed to not kill you, if they had.
Keep riding like a tard!
love,
gabe
Witness bad behavior during your commute? Feel free to post. Maybe that lovely human can read it and think they are famous. Maybe you can also inspire the whole generation of kids to shower but we can start with small things.
Tags:
This reminds me of the jimmy fallon "thank you notes"
"Thank you, German tourists, for finally answering the question, "Who uses the waiststrap on backpacks?""
"Thank you, guy with the $10,000 sound system in his $800 car, for driving down Broadway this afternoon. You're loud, you're proud, you're in a '93 Turcel."
"Thank you, fancy restaurant wine list, for providing me with plenty of notable choices to ignore while I look for the second-least expensive bottle on the menu."
Gabe said:
To the white male, late 40's, black fleece, salt and pepper beard salmoning on Clark St. at Ohio at 10:15 am today . You're a douchebag! :-)
This reminds me of the jimmy fallon "thank you notes"
"Thank you, German tourists, for finally answering the question, "Who uses the waiststrap on backpacks?""
"Thank you, guy with the $10,000 sound system in his $800 car, for driving down Broadway this afternoon. You're loud, you're proud, you're in a '93 Turcel."
"Thank you, fancy restaurant wine list, for providing me with plenty of notable choices to ignore while I look for the second-least expensive bottle on the menu."
Gabe said:To the white male, late 40's, black fleece, salt and pepper beard salmoning on Clark St. at Ohio at 10:15 am today . You're a douchebag! :-)
Me: skating home from wilson skatepark down LSP
You: biker (and friend riding side by side)who passed me right before the irving downhill
me:continuing to skate and enjoy one of the only downhill in chicago
you : decide to turn and cross irving at the bottom of the hill instead of taking the side route to the crosswalk, and because you and friend decide to ride side by side taking up the entire lane it took you a while to brake down the entire hill and turn off the path
me: jump off skate to avoid you and other traffic coming up the hill decided totake an arm full of pavement instead of hurting anyone else
you: call me the idiot
me: biking
you: on the phone , pass me , and a buss at a stop (at a stop sign)
me: realizing you just cut off my entire line
you: pull up to stop sign to make an illegal right turn (in fron of a bus) while rolling thru a stop sign(2 for 2)suddenly notice people crossing the intersection you were supposed to stop at so you slam on your brakes
me; nowhere to go but into oncoming traffic or the back of you suv
*hits suv
you: removes phone from ear "OMG are you ok?"
me: no reply, im fine, bikes fine, no need to bitch you out
To the headset wearing hipster who passed me steathily, on the right, last night on Milwaukee:
Dude, just say one word before you slide by, especially when you're passing on the wrong friggen side.
The best is when they do that while you're signalling that you're about to turn right...
You nearly clipped me with the side mirror of your 15 passenger van just after I pulled out of my alley onto Wrightwood near Lakewood.
I caught up to you at a stop light (funny how you passed me thinking that you would get somewhere much faster than me) and tapped on your window.
You fumbled for the "open window" button, inadvertently locking and unlocking the doors.
"Give me a little more space next time you pass me" (in a non-contentious tone)
"Get on the f-ing sidewalk a-hole!" (quite quarrelsome tone)
"It's illegal to ride on the sidewalk in the city of Chicago" (still calm and collected)
"Well then walk the f-ing thing, get out of traffic." (no need to explain his tone)
"I am traffic!" (as he speeds away)
Thoughts:
Why is this guy so pissed? Why the breakneck reaction to my calm request for a bit more space?
-paying $4 to fill up his 15 passenger van that has two passengers (seems there was a child, see more below) in it
-using most of that gas idling in traffic, essentially burning dollar bills (or $50 bills in his case)
-wife left him for the mailman
-someone put sandpaper on the toilet seat
-(you fill in the blank)
What snappy comeback should I have had at the end (I thought about this during the rest of my ride)?
-"Oh my, if your kid turn's out like you, the next generation is screwed"
-"I hope your kid has an uncle, teacher, or someone else that can be a good role model for them"
Your turn...
If the driver gives me the finger, as they often do, I like to say "Is that your IQ or your sperm count?" (Has to be a male driver... usually is though)
Steve
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