Specifically what behaviors do you feel subjected to, especially those of other cyclists, that annoy/irritate/frighten you that you feel you disproportionately experience as a direct result of your gender identity.
I am exploring this as a possible topic for an upcoming video education piece. So hit me.
Feel free to send me your thoughts in an email (jason@activetrans.org) if you don't feel like sharing with the group.
Thanks all!
Jason Jenkins
Education Specialist
Active Trans
Tags:
Hey- Don't take it personally. These kinds of conversations are hard to have when you're on the other end of people saying that a member of a group you identify yourself with treated them badly. I've been on the other end in conversations about things like cultural appropriation etc... that leave me scratching my head and feeling a bit offended. But that's when the best learning is done, is when you allow those conversations to sink in. You haven't said anything offensive to me, I'm just pointing out that I really do feel that my gender played a role.
Where are my other ladies? Are there only like 4 of us?! Do other people not have experiences to share? I think this could be a really cool thing to talk about, as long as we are all nice to each other...
Davo said:
And if you would have read my initial post I used the words:
I'd like to think that this has more to do with the mechanic and not you(r) gender...."
And another post saying relating to Michelle's experience:
There still are people who are sexist to one degree or another and are doing it subconsciously or consciously. Unfortunately I think you are right..........I'd like to think that we are further along than we are about things like this, but we are not.
I was not trying to minimize/dismiss an experience. Perhaps I am taking this personally when I should not.
As a transwoman, my pet peeve is when people just assume I am a woman just because I look like one. Hellooooo #nonbinary #genderqueer
Hm. I actually think that I never said "I'd like to think ... But we are not". Not that that sentiment doesn't ring true, but I do think that Davo was the one who originated that phrase.
But I do feel like I'd like to give people the benefit of the doubt. The reality is, though, that in some situations I know that, had I been a dude, I would have had a conversation instead of getting a brush-off response to a question. I'm not entirely sure why that would even be, considering that most bike riders purport to be open. Where is the stem of this issue where women feel uncomfortable/are not treated equally to male bikers (the... is it Mary Poppins?... effect comes to mind. Why does a woman biker deserve more space when being passed than a man? Not that we don't appreciate it (seriously I love that most people don't try to buzz me...), but even that in itself is showing that somehow woman bikers are more precious/fragile than men. The same with shops maybe? Maybe because women's roles traditionally don't involve tools/hardware/mechanics of any kind and that's all that bikes are?
echo said:
First, You assumed I didn't read your entire post, when I did. Just because I am calling you out on being minimizing doesn't mean I didn't read what you said or that I lack comprehension of what you said.
Second, regardless of your intention, your initial post dismisses and minimizes gender microaggressions. Same with your reply here.
http://racismschool.tumblr.com/post/22807040831/i-didnt-mean-to-and...
http://wtfwhiteprivilege.tumblr.com/post/14025758890/i-didnt-mean-t...
Your two examples are not the same, so it doesn't work to prove your case that (a) I didn't read your post and/or (b) you aren't being dismissive.
Michelle's post:
"I'd like to think .... BUT we are not."
Michelle can correct me if I'm wrong, but it seems to me that she is saying she wishes she could think that people are beyond treating people differently due to gender, however, that this is NOT the case. (The word "but" is a big clue here in the meaning) Because, in actuality, women are treated differently -- regardless if people INTEND to or not. (emphasis in the intention aspect of this). She went on to clarify that, yes, although she'd like to think positively, the reality is that she can't.
Your initial post:
"I'd like to think that this has more to do with the mechanic and not you gender AS I have received the same type of treatment from time to time. Usually the mechanic is "too cool for school" and has a certain arrogance about them. "
Based on your wording, however, are saying something entirely different. You are saying you'd like to think the experience isn't because of gender because YOU have also experienced rudeness... sometimes.
It's pretty clear what is being said here -- you (a man) have had negative experiences with bike mechanics and, therefore, if a woman does too then it's not because of her gender. Or, at least, you don't want to believe that it was.
I'm curious about how that isn't minimizing the experience?
Fair. What can I do to be more sensitive to that? That's an issue I'm not super well-versed in.
envane (69 furlongs) said:
As a transwoman, my pet peeve is when people just assume I am a woman just because I look like one. Hellooooo #nonbinary #genderqueer
Yes I would not want to believe that the experience was solely about gender, perhaps the mechanic was just a jerk. But after further elaboration, it is known that she felt the mechanics conduct was based of her gender and I can try to understand that the best I can as a man.
I'd like to add that microagressions work both ways. There is no way that I can reiterate myself that wont get thrown back in my face as implying that i am a complete sexist. It sucks that people are subject to subconscious and conscious beratement (for lack of a better word).
I suspect this is not the case.
envane (69 furlongs) said:
As a transwoman, my pet peeve is when people just assume I am a woman just because I look like one. Hellooooo #nonbinary #genderqueer
I always go to Comrade and those guys (and the woman there) are awesome and non-condescending. I don't get cat called a lot but it's happened a handful of times in the last week and is gross and depressing. I sometimes take this into account when I choose what to wear while biking- I don't want to attract attention. It's sad to have to think like that.
I did a little solo bike touring this summer and got a lot of judgment about that, from cyclists and non-cyclists. People assumed I didn't know what I was doing and hadn't packed basic things like food or a sleeping bag. Or assumed that I don't know how to fix anything, even a flat. Or assumed that I was very naive about the risks involved in touring. When non-cyclists did this stuff I tried to write it off as them just not understanding that someone could travel by bike. But it sucked to get this attitude from other cyclists. No one expressed concern about road safety, which is always my #1 worry and is data-grounded. Instead, they were concerned about me camping by myself. At crowded state parks. In the summer. Surrounded by families. Or scared that I'd run out of food or be cold at night. Yeah...
Microaggressions do work both ways, that's where it is imperative that the people in the position of privilege acknowledge that privilege. However, none here have been very aggressive to you, so Im not sure where you feel that we are personally calling you a sexist. Like we said, it's not you personally.
Well the thing is, they kinda don't work both ways. If you really want to try and understand that the best you can, as a man, the thing to do when checked on this is not get all defensive over your honor, but stop and listen for a bit because there's a whole shitload of stuff that we never have to think about.
Davo said:
Yes I would not want to believe that the experience was solely about gender, perhaps the mechanic was just a jerk. But after further elaboration, it is known that she felt the mechanics conduct was based of her gender and I can try to understand that the best I can as a man.
I'd like to add that microagressions work both ways. There is no way that I can reiterate myself that wont get thrown back in my face as implying that i am a complete sexist. It sucks that people are subject to subconscious and conscious beratement (for lack of a better word).
Not only is it sad to have to think like that, it can be dangerous, if by not attracting attention you also mean not wearing bright, easy to see colors.
Anne B. said:
I always go to Comrade and those guys (and the woman there) are awesome and non-condescending. I don't get cat called a lot but it's happened a handful of times in the last week and is gross and depressing. I sometimes take this into account when I choose what to wear while biking- I don't want to attract attention. It's sad to have to think like that.
I did a little solo bike touring this summer and got a lot of judgment about that, from cyclists and non-cyclists. People assumed I didn't know what I was doing and hadn't packed basic things like food or a sleeping bag. Or assumed that I don't know how to fix anything, even a flat. Or assumed that I was very naive about the risks involved in touring. When non-cyclists did this stuff I tried to write it off as them just not understanding that someone could travel by bike. But it sucked to get this attitude from other cyclists. No one expressed concern about road safety, which is always my #1 worry and is data-grounded. Instead, they were concerned about me camping by myself. At crowded state parks. In the summer. Surrounded by families. Or scared that I'd run out of food or be cold at night. Yeah...
It is NOT OK to use "transgender", "transsexual", "genderqueer", or "nonbinary" as a noun or verb without permission. Its is NOT OK to use gendered pronouns, (#triggerwarning "he","she") until you know for sure what the person's gender indentity is. Instead use "ze/zer" It is OK to ask what gender a person identifies as, but it is NOT OK to ask about zers genitals (none of your business and completely irrelevant, cis-bigot).
Michelle said:
Fair. What can I do to be more sensitive to that? That's an issue I'm not super well-versed in.
envane (69 furlongs) said:As a transwoman, my pet peeve is when people just assume I am a woman just because I look like one. Hellooooo #nonbinary #genderqueer
What gender do you identify as, Envane?
envane (69 furlongs) said:
It is NOT OK to use "transgender", "transsexual", "genderqueer", or "nonbinary" as a noun or verb without permission. Its is NOT OK to use gendered pronouns, (#triggerwarning "he","she") until you know for sure what the person's gender indentity is. Instead use "ze/zer" It is OK to ask what gender a person identifies as, but it is NOT OK to ask about zers genitals (none of your business and completely irrelevant, cis-bigot).
Michelle said:Fair. What can I do to be more sensitive to that? That's an issue I'm not super well-versed in.
envane (69 furlongs) said:As a transwoman, my pet peeve is when people just assume I am a woman just because I look like one. Hellooooo #nonbinary #genderqueer
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