Chicago + Bikes = Sucks

   After living in Chicago for almost a year I've come to the conclusion that biking here sucks and you should all just give up, join the winning team and buy an SUV. Never been to Portland or Copenhagen or shitty places like Dallas and Houston, but I've bike messengered, toured and commuted all around Boston and New York. I don't want to just trash talk, but you have it pretty rough here.

Cons

1. Potholes? The streets are literally carpet bombed. NYC has mostly shoddy road work that can be a hassle, but here the roads are just disintegrating from within. Roads in Boston are pretty good.

2. No room on the roads for bikes. You're always in the way of the cars, even if your in the bike plane.

3. Guns. You honestly have to worry that the driver you're about to curse out might be packing.

4. Cell phones. Drivers consider it their right to talk and text and the police don't seem to enforce any ban on it. You rarely see NY drivers with a phone to their ear.

5. Speed? What is the speed limit in Chicago, 45, 60?

6. Lakefront Trail? Either too windy and cold or too crowded. It's nice for a cruise but taking a road bike on it is just too much. Is there any place for a good road ride?

7. You have to dress like a OSHA inspector. Sit on Milwaukee at rush hour, all you see is reflective vests, helmets, lights, mirrors and cuff protectors. Unfortunately being safe and visible is your only protection against the drivers whose heads are too far up their asses to see you.

8. There's no cycle chic. Because you have to wear all that OSHA safety gear you don't see many hot moms on their Danish cruisers riding to the farmers market. All you see in New York is model chics riding old cruisers that they paid way too much for, that and Chinese guys on e bikes.

9. Bike theft is pretty common in Boston because of the college students and their inability to properly secure their bikes. The Lower East Side of Manhattan is pretty bad for bike theft too. But here you are totally screwed because the poles just come out of the bases.

10. What happened to 3 feet? Yellow cabs in Manhattan give you more room than the drivers here. Safe passing distance here is, well I didn't hit you did I?

11. Fixed gear conversions and Walmart fixies. Come summer you'll start to see them by the hundreds, shitty road frames from the 80's stripped on their non essentials and turned into a fixie, SS or worse a coaster brake. If not that then it's a white and lime green color coordinated walmart fixed gears, SF Drafts or whatever.

12. No hills. There's no hills, hills are fun.

13. Sirens, the fire trucks and ambulances here have sirens that can be heard from no less than 3 miles away. Their horns can cause you to have a brain hemorrhage and or permanently loose your hearing.

14. Salt destroys everything.

15. Headlights, are they optional after dark or are the drivers just too stupid to turn them on?  

16. Rust bucket specials. Missing mirrors, lights dangling, severe body damage, this describes 95% of the cars on the streets of Chicago

In conclusion, riding here gives you several options, getting run over, getting doored, going deaf from a firetruck, getting shot or a slow death by salt. It's a humiliating experience fraught with danger and day glow vests. I think it's hopeless

Pros

1. Potholes. They act like speed bumps and slow the drivers down.

2. The cars are way more patient, really. People are in much less of a hurry. Of course they will tailgate you, but it's not so bad.

3. Trails, they might be boring but you can go pretty far north just on trails.

4. Tickets, police don't ticket bikes here, not too much at least. I paid over $1,000 to the NYS DMV for running red lights on my bike. Cops in New York love to ticket bikes.

5. Easy. Biking here is easy, sure you get buzzed by every other car but there's not too much to contend with, ie double parking, pedestrians. Plus no hills, so it's perfect for a crappy fixed gear conversion.

6. No wrong way cyclist, ie salmon. NYC has it's lovely bike lanes but it's full of delivery guys going the wrong way and pedestrians blindly stepping out. 

7. Safety in numbers. The rush hour peloton on Milwaukee is pretty empowering. 

8. No car service Lincoln Town car homicidal maniacs. I still have nightmares about town cars. Livery cab drivers make yellow cabs look like saints.

So 16 cons and 8 pros.

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Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Michelle Milham on March 7, 2014 at 11:35am

Maybe we need to have another lady cyclists thread about sexism... Jimmy seems to have missed the first one. Eh. I'll go get a link and edit this. 

Jimmy - you really should peruse this. Maybe it will help you to understand and not participate in the expectation that ladies look pretty for you while they ride.

http://www.thechainlink.org/forum/topics/hey-ladies-what-are-your-b...

Bob said:

speaking of hot moms riding chic danish bikes, doesn't Jimmy's profile make you ladies swoon at his hotness?!!!! like Brad Pitt on a bike! don't you agree ladies???!!!!

Permalink Reply by Drewbacca on March 7, 2014 at 6:45pm

I've lived/biked Philly, Seattle, San Diego, Pittsburgh, and here. I like Chicago just fine. I miss hills. I wouldn't miss bone chilling wind gusts. 

Permalink Reply by Reboot Oxnard on March 8, 2014 at 12:33am

Folks, go easy on the guy. He's clearly learning impaired...

I paid over $1,000 to the NYS DMV for running red lights on my bike.

Permalink Reply by Mike Zumwalt on March 8, 2014 at 7:53am

Everyday I go out looking for girls riding in bikinis, in front of me. Damn prudish Chicago riders!

Maybe he's looking for a reaction more in the way of...?

Michelle Milham said:

Maybe we need to have another lady cyclists thread about sexism... Jimmy seems to have missed the first one. Eh. I'll go get a link and edit this. 

Jimmy - you really should peruse this. Maybe it will help you to understand and not participate in the expectation that ladies look pretty for you while they ride.

http://www.thechainlink.org/forum/topics/hey-ladies-what-are-your-b...

Bob said:

speaking of hot moms riding chic danish bikes, doesn't Jimmy's profile make you ladies swoon at his hotness?!!!! like Brad Pitt on a bike! don't you agree ladies???!!!!

Permalink Reply by Michelle Milham on March 8, 2014 at 8:16am
Hahaha! That is an EXCELLENT picture- love it!
Permalink Reply by Jimmy Baham on March 8, 2014 at 8:27am

  First off I object to any implication that I do not look like Brad Pitt on a bike. Second, I think you want to frame this as part of your feminist paradigm, further your own cause and call me a misogynist because you lack subtly and see things as black and white. 

   Cycle chic gives both women and men who otherwise would have an aversion to cycling a chance to "look cute" while riding their bike. The streets are their runways. Instead of a Bell V 1pro helmets and safety vests they wear a tweed equestrian style helmets. They ride cool European city bikes with pretty baskets full of brie and French loaves in lieu of milk crates zip tied to the rear racks of their Bridgestones. They own Rapha clothing and go to the farmers market. It's not my thing but it gets more people on bikes and yes I like looking at attractive women. I think it's even cooler when they are on a bike.

   In other cities people go out of their way to look dandy riding their bikes. Chicago has a couple bike looks but the practical bike nerd style is probably most prevalent, followed by the hardcore biker with a skateboard helmet look. I think if the average person realized they didn't have to dress like like an Osha inspector or Mad Max, then maybe more people would feel comfortable just hopping on a bike. It's a sad state of affairs but I do see the lack of "cycle chic" or "cute biker look" as an impediment to get more people riding. The Divy bikes are definitely a step in the right direction because it says hey you can be totally normal wear work clothes or a nice outfit and ride.

Michelle Milham said:

Maybe we need to have another lady cyclists thread about sexism... Jimmy seems to have missed the first one. Eh. I'll go get a link and edit this. 

Jimmy - you really should peruse this. Maybe it will help you to understand and not participate in the expectation that ladies look pretty for you while they ride.

http://www.thechainlink.org/forum/topics/hey-ladies-what-are-your-b...

Bob said:

speaking of hot moms riding chic danish bikes, doesn't Jimmy's profile make you ladies swoon at his hotness?!!!! like Brad Pitt on a bike! don't you agree ladies???!!!!

Permalink Reply by Michelle Milham on March 8, 2014 at 9:07am
Jimmy: I see very very few people who dress as you seem to on a bike. I wear exercise clothes on my bike, because I am exercising, as well as commuting.




Though you mention men now, your original comment was about how you missed seeing "hot moms" and "models" on bikes. There was no mention of the idea they wearing stylish every day clothes to cycle might cause others to take up cycling. It was literally a comment revolving around the fact that you, personally, find New York women more attractive when they ride their bikes.

I'd also like to mention that it's not style that stops most peoiple from riding at this moment. It's safety. We can cross the style bridge when we get to it, but quite frankly the expectation that people dress up to ride bikes is silly. I wear what I need to wear for the purpose if riding. Whether it's divvying in a dress or riding my bike in my vibrant lululemon knockoff yoga leggings (which is actually a legitimate fashion among active women...) or riding to the store in my jeans, I will continue to wear what I want to wear on my bike and it's sexist of you to say that women shouldn't wear anything but pretty clothes to ride. I know you threw men in there, but judging by what you wear while riding, you don't really mean that.
Permalink Reply by Kevin Mulcky on March 8, 2014 at 4:09pm

8. There's no cycle chic. Because you have to wear all that OSHA safety gear you don't see many hot moms on their Danish cruisers riding to the farmers market. All you see in New York is model chics riding old cruisers that they paid way too much for, that and Chinese guys on e bikes.

You've obviously never been to the Logan Square Farmer's Market.

Permalink Reply by Mike Zumwalt on March 8, 2014 at 4:16pm

I wear black and dress for comfort and conditions. I don't wear a vest but given that the fine for doorings, hitting a roadside worker in a clearly marked work zone with flashing lights, signs, reduced speeds and yellow, orange everywhere means that drivers need to be hand held or get slapped on the wrist, and a $1000-$1500 fine for killing or permanently injuring someone because of not paying attention is a slap.

I have a cat eye on the front and ride with it in the day sometimes and people can't seem to see a mini strobe light blinking in their mirrors.

Unless we get an entire infrastructure to completely insulate us from cars you need to be as proactive as possible.

Permalink Reply by Skip Montanaro 0mi on March 9, 2014 at 7:45am

I rode today. (Yeah, I know, wrong thread.) While I am starting to peel of some clothing (about 40F when I left the house), the streets are still too nice for my Masi, Medici, RRB, etc, so I rode my Trek fixed gear commuter, sacrificial lamb that it is. I'm sure I looked a bit weird to the serious roadies on the North Shore with my fenders, studded tires, Bar Mitts, and Merrill non-cycling footwear. I did have on my Chainlink jersey, though nobody could see it under my hi-vis red cycling jacket.

In my opinion, anything you wear that gets you out the door and up on two wheels is fine by me. Rock that reflective vest, those tweed knickers, or that insanely expensive Rapha gear. (Holy silk thread, handspun by monks, Batman! That stuff is expensive!). It felt good just to be out there.

Permalink Reply by Fran Kondorf on March 9, 2014 at 8:13am

+many

 I'm past giving a flying fart about "cycle chic". When they call me to model for the style section of the Sunday paper they can buy the appropriate gear and I'll wear it on a closed street with suitable aplomb. Until then, I'll dress, 1. To be seen by motorists, 2. For protection in the event of collision/fall, and 3. To be seen by motorists and for protection in the event of a collision/fall.

To each their own, but I think anything less riding on the streets of this town is just foolishness.

Michelle Milham said:

<snip>
I'd also like to mention that it's not style that stops most peoiple from riding at this moment. It's safety. We can cross the style bridge when we get to it, but quite frankly the expectation that people dress up to ride bikes is silly. I wear what I need to wear for the purpose if riding. Whether it's divvying in a dress or riding my bike in my vibrant lululemon knockoff yoga leggings (which is actually a legitimate fashion among active women...) or riding to the store in my jeans, I will continue to wear what I want to wear on my bike and it's sexist of you to say that women shouldn't wear anything but pretty clothes to ride. I know you threw men in there, but judging by what you wear while riding, you don't really mean that.
Permalink Reply by Lisa Curcio on March 9, 2014 at 10:46am

Your forgot 4) to be warm or cool (as in not hot) and 5) to be comfortable!  Most people I know ride bikes for transportation and for fun.  Who cares what they are wearing!?  Unless, of course, it is a tweed ride and then one is dressing for fun.

Fran Kondorf said:

+many

 I'm past giving a flying fart about "cycle chic". When they call me to model for the style section of the Sunday paper they can buy the appropriate gear and I'll wear it on a closed street with suitable aplomb. Until then, I'll dress, 1. To be seen by motorists, 2. For protection in the event of collision/fall, and 3. To be seen by motorists and for protection in the event of a collision/fall.

To each their own, but I think anything less riding on the streets of this town is just foolishness.

Michelle Milham said:

<snip>
I'd also like to mention that it's not style that stops most peoiple from riding at this moment. It's safety. We can cross the style bridge when we get to it, but quite frankly the expectation that people dress up to ride bikes is silly. I wear what I need to wear for the purpose if riding. Whether it's divvying in a dress or riding my bike in my vibrant lululemon knockoff yoga leggings (which is actually a legitimate fashion among active women...) or riding to the store in my jeans, I will continue to wear what I want to wear on my bike and it's sexist of you to say that women shouldn't wear anything but pretty clothes to ride. I know you threw men in there, but judging by what you wear while riding, you don't really mean that.

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