Soliciting jokes and humor related to bikes and bicycling.  Especially hoping for simple, memorable, easily understood and relatable.  No discussion nor debate, just jokes :)

Didn't find similar already with quick search, if redundant do tell.  I've got a few to start...

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Just what I was going to say!

LarryN said:
So this French guy walks into a bike shop, points to his bike and says: "Too loose, la Trek!"
So three old bicyclists were sitting in a bar, an Italian, Englishman and Belgian.

The Italian says: “An Italian biceeclist rides a beeeautiful sensuous frame and glides around curves, just like he makes love to his women.”

The Englishman says: “An English bicyclist rides a good sturdy workhorse, my boy, he may not get there quickly, but it gets the job done, just like he makes love to his women.”

The Belgian says: “Eh, well, a Belgian rider always finishes first.”

Joke or useful information, you decide:

 Mark Twain's Wisdom on Cycling

"Learn to ride a bicycle. You will not regret it if you live."

This is a cartoon and bike humor that I like.

What do drivers and pedestrians have in common? They both hate the cyclist!

Q. What's the difference between a porcupine and an SUV?

A. A porcupine's pricks are on the outside.

Q: What's the difference between a large pepperoni pizza and a bike messenger?

A: The pizza feeds a family of four.

Love it.  I've heard this a few times in generic optimized form:

Q. What's the difference between a pizza and a [ex-husband's profession]?

A. A pizza can feed family.

Could also tailor the classic drummer joke:

Q. What do you call a bike messenger who just broke up with his girlfriend?

A. Homeless.

Tour de France winner Chris Froome managed to carry on cycling despite having a jar of urine thrown at him by a French spectator.
Froome is claiming this incident to be his piss de resistance.


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