Bike Jokes
Soliciting jokes and humor related to bikes and bicycling. Especially hoping for simple, memorable, easily understood and relatable. No discussion nor debate, just jokes :)
Didn't find similar already with quick search, if redundant do tell. I've got a few to start...
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Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Andrew Bedno on
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Q. What's the worst thing about being an inline skater?
A. Having to tell your family you're gay.
- Demitry Matin on COM, but told to me a year before by Martin Hazard.
Q. What's the worst part about riding fixie?
A. The whole world knows you're a douche.
- mine I guess, but draft, someone do better
I invite y'all to make up some about tall bikes, racers, recumbent, ...
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Q. How many Critical Massers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. Some, to forever debate whether it should be changed.
- mine I guess, but draft, someone do better
Q. How can you tell that a bike mechanic has a girlfriend?
A. They have at least one clean finger.
- Martin Hazard
Ten best bike jokes
Bikes topic on stock cartoons site
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Permalink Reply by Tiberculosis on
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By comedian Emo Phillips...
"When I was a kid, I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realised, the Lord doesn’t work that way. So I just stole one and asked Him to forgive me."
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Permalink Reply by Kohaku on
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this one only works by telling it...
Q: Why couldn't the bicycle stand by itself.
A: Because it was too tired.
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Permalink Reply by mike w. on
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"Mom, i want to be a bike racer when i grow up."
"You can't do both, son."
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Permalink Reply by john johnson on
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Two nuns cycling down a cobbled street. The first one says "I've never come this way before"; the second one replies "Must be the cobbles"
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On Christmas morning a cop on horseback is sitting at a traffic light, and next to him is a kid on his shiny new bike. The cop says to the kid, "Nice bike you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?" The kid replies, "Yeah." The cop says, "Well, next year tell Santa to put a tail-light on that bike." The cop then proceeds to issue the kid a $20.00 bicycle safety violation ticket. The kid takes the ticket and before he rides off says, "By the way, that's a nice horse you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?" Humoring the kid, the cop says, "Yeah, he sure did." The kid continued, "Well, next year tell Santa to put the dick underneath the horse, instead of on top."
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A nerd was walking on campus one day when his friend, another nerd, rode up on an incredible shiny new bicycle. The first nerd was stunned and asked, "Where did you get such a nice bike?" The second nerd replied, "Well, yesterday I was walking home minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up to me on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want!" The second nerd nodded approvingly, "Good choice. The clothes probably wouldn't have fit."
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Permalink Reply by wig [ isaac ] on
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This one was told around my house since I was five years old....
A very devout cyclist dies and goes to heaven. Saint Peter meets him at the gate. First thing the cyclist askes is if there are bicycles in heaven.
"Sure," says St. Peter, "let me show you," and he leads the guy into the finest Velodrome you can imagine.
"This is great," the cyclist says.
"It certainly is," says St. Peter. "You will have a custom bike and the best cycling clothes you've ever seen, and your personal masseuse will always available."
As they speak a blur streaks by them on the boards riding a gold plated Cinelli.
"Wow!" the cyclist exclaims. "That guy was so fast that can only be Eddy Merckx!"
"No," says St. Peter, "that was God on the bike, he only thinks he's Eddy".
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