bending the law: streetlights en masse = bad

Bikers in Chicago have been able to skirt many of the traffic laws for a long while now, but I've seen evidence of what will eventually bring an end to that. When one biker comes to a red light, looks both ways, and rolls through an empty intersection, there is no harm done. But, on Milwaukee during rush hour, when you see the slough of bikers, all of various abilities skirting lights at various rates, you know things are getting out of hand, and there will have to be a crackdown. Let's avoid that crackdown and realize that when there is heavy bike traffic, we are starting to reach a critical mass of traffic that will have to be governed by laws; let's follow the spirit of the laws before the they are enforced in a letter-of-the-law kind of way.

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Permalink Reply by Julie Aberman (Hochstadter) on September 28, 2008 at 12:06pm
Second that bro!
Permalink Reply by Tommie on September 28, 2008 at 2:36pm
I third that.


ALSO this gives cyclists time to practice their track stands. Track stands attract the most attention from motorists and pedestrians. If you can track stand through a light people will notice and want to be like you. They will talk about you at the corner. They will think about how you stand still w/out your feet on the ground before they go to bed. Then they will buy a bike and ride. They will commute to work. They will then see people practicing track stands at stop lights during rush hour. They will perfect it and the cycle will repeat.

STOPPING AT RED LIGHTS + TRACK STANDS will save the world!
Permalink Reply by Julie Aberman (Hochstadter) on September 28, 2008 at 2:41pm
Tommie, are you this funny in person?

Tommie said:
I third that.


ALSO this gives cyclists time to practice their track stands. Track stands attract the most attention from motorists and pedestrians. If you can track stand through a light people will notice and want to be like you. They will talk about you at the corner. They will think about how you stand still w/out your feet on the ground before they go to bed. Then they will buy a bike and ride. They will commute to work. They will then see people practicing track stands at stop lights during rush hour. They will perfect it and the cycle will repeat.

STOPPING AT RED LIGHTS + TRACK STANDS will save the world!
Permalink Reply by vxla on September 28, 2008 at 5:22pm
I always try and knock over a hipster or two trying to tarck stand at a light. It's more fun that way.
Permalink Reply by Tommie on September 29, 2008 at 1:25am
Hrm.

I think it's best if I put an end to the missuse of the word "HIPSTER." You see, a hipster is someone who will be eternally cool. He doesn't obey the "scene", he (or she or whatever post-gender pronoun you like to use) doesn't just march to the beat of a different drummer, he does the St. Vitus Dance (not to be confused with the glued-lug aluminum frame manufacturer) to the beat of an acid-jazz drummer trying to impress a resurrected John Coltrane.

SCENESTERS on the other are like the tireless forward scouts of yester-year. They're constantly scanning the horizon looking for the next thing to jump on. He will see the value of nautical stars and sparrow tattoos before the rest of us and right when everyone else starts to get one he will add text from some forgotten song. When we start getting text tattooed on our bodies he will get a massive chest piece that says "STAY GOLD PONY BOY!" He will move with intense effort (though it will be masked by the PBR on his breath and a Makers Mark and Coke) from dance,dance punk to noise rock to ironic black metal and on to Patsy Cline.

My point is that it is the scenster that you want to knock over not the hipster. Frankly, I think if you attacked a hipster with any sort've bike ju-fung-jitzu he would calmly break the stem off of his martini glass and stab you in the neck with it and then pick up the person that was oogling his trackstand at the corner.

DEADhex said:
when i grow up, im gonna be a hipster :)
Permalink Reply by Tommie on September 29, 2008 at 1:30am
Julie,

I think I am. I also happen to have the most adorable freckles, brown eyes and am a cuddle whore.

Hrm. Did I just describe my dog? GODDAMNIT!!!

At least I'm not neutered.


Julie Hochstadter said:
Tommie, are you this funny in person?

Permalink Reply by Kelly on September 29, 2008 at 2:28am
I love the applied science!! Tommie, will you be at the chainlink thursday bar meetup thingy?!

Tommie said:
I third that.


ALSO this gives cyclists time to practice their track stands. Track stands attract the most attention from motorists and pedestrians. If you can track stand through a light people will notice and want to be like you. They will talk about you at the corner. They will think about how you stand still w/out your feet on the ground before they go to bed. Then they will buy a bike and ride. They will commute to work. They will then see people practicing track stands at stop lights during rush hour. They will perfect it and the cycle will repeat.

STOPPING AT RED LIGHTS + TRACK STANDS will save the world!
Permalink Reply by yellow jello on September 29, 2008 at 3:18am
maybe we can have a drunk track stand contest at the conclusion of the thursday chainlink bar meetup. i volunteer to be a judge.

Kelly said:
I love the applied science!! Tommie, will you be at the chainlink thursday bar meetup thingy?!

Tommie said:
I third that.


ALSO this gives cyclists time to practice their track stands. Track stands attract the most attention from motorists and pedestrians. If you can track stand through a light people will notice and want to be like you. They will talk about you at the corner. They will think about how you stand still w/out your feet on the ground before they go to bed. Then they will buy a bike and ride. They will commute to work. They will then see people practicing track stands at stop lights during rush hour. They will perfect it and the cycle will repeat.

STOPPING AT RED LIGHTS + TRACK STANDS will save the world!
Permalink Reply by mister bob on September 29, 2008 at 3:58am
I blow reds whenever safe convenient and possible, and I'm typically prepared to justify this outlaw behavior with all kinds of nonsense - but Evan I think you're onto something. A lot of us disperse throughout the city blowing reds may be Good for Bicycling, but concentrated onto one or two shared transit corridors is probably Bad for Bicycling. I will refrain from blowing reds whenever I'm on Milwaukee, or Damen from Wellington to Chicago, or other high-bike use areas, and practice my trackstand instead.
Permalink Reply by Bart on September 29, 2008 at 4:04am
Damn Tommie. You just made at least half the girls on the board want to jump your bones. I salute you!
Permalink Reply by root on September 29, 2008 at 4:04am
i like to practice keo spins at the unskippables
Permalink Reply by mister bob on September 29, 2008 at 4:08am
Tommie said:
STOPPING AT RED LIGHTS + TRACK STANDS will save the world!

Right on Bro. I started a track stand thread right here on the chainlink.

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