The Chainlink

Think of this as a Missed Connection.

You blew the red light east bound on Lawrence at Damen at 5:26 pm this evening.

 

There was enough time for the biker in front of me to make it half way into the intersection, northbound on Damen, before you came whizzing past my front wheel.

 

I yelled "You're an idiot!" at your big haired chick, self, and you looked back at me. I meant it!

 

I woulda testified for any of the cars, that managed to not kill you, if they had.

 

Keep riding like a tard!

love,

gabe

 

Witness bad behavior during your commute? Feel free to post. Maybe that lovely human can read it and think they are famous. Maybe you can also inspire the whole generation of kids to shower but we can start with small things.

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Permalink Reply by Vilda on May 20, 2014 at 12:46pm

Depends on the region of your Douche-Turd. The non-showering Hipster variety will be out in force this evening as it is their only access to water. The yuppie Douche-Turd will be in hiding this evening as they scare easy.

Permalink Reply by Chris LaFrombois (8.5 mi - o.w.) on May 20, 2014 at 12:54pm

This is the Douche-Turd supercell I got caught in this morning.

Rich S said:

There's usually a cluster of em at Milwaukee and Chicago. Was hoping the thunder storms in tonight's forecast would keep them at bay! 

Vilda said:

You've spotted the seasonal Douche-Turd. Sadly they proliferate at this time of year.

Permalink Reply by Crazy David 84 Furlongs on May 20, 2014 at 1:13pm

Ya know that comments like referring to large clumps of bicyclers in this fashion makes you sound like an elitest that really doesn't support biking in general.  We have enough trouble with cars...

Permalink Reply by Rich S on May 20, 2014 at 1:16pm

Have you not seen the way a lot of riders behave at that intersection in the morning?  I'm all for more bikers but I'm against stupid people wherever they exist and whatever means of transport they used to get there. 

Crazy David 84 Furlongs said:

Ya know that comments like referring to large clumps of bicyclers in this fashion makes you sound like an elitest that really doesn't support biking in general.  We have enough trouble with cars...

Permalink Reply by Vilda on May 20, 2014 at 1:20pm

And Crazy David, I'm an asshole so I could care less how I sound. :-)

Permalink Reply by Simon Phearson on May 20, 2014 at 1:28pm

People can bike however they like, for all I care - no skin off my back. It's only when they put me in danger - by running red lights across my line, leapfrogging in moderate traffic, salmoning in bike lanes, riding erratically, etc. - that I'm inclined to call them mean names. 

Though personally, I love to see a crowd. My office looks out over Wells, and my favorite sight in the mornings is when there are more bikes stopped at a light than cars - which happened a lot this morning.

Crazy David 84 Furlongs said:

Ya know that comments like referring to large clumps of bicyclers in this fashion makes you sound like an elitest that really doesn't support biking in general.  We have enough trouble with cars...

Permalink Reply by JMinHP on May 20, 2014 at 1:35pm

I spotted one this morning, too, on Grand! Typical Douche-Turd (sub-genius - unkempt fixie hipster) behavior:  shoaling a few of us at a red light and then running the red by "filtering" between cross-traffic.  And by "flitering" I mean forcing cars with the green to brake.  He did the same at 4-lanes-across Columbus after a few shoulder checks- lest he be caught by those of us who actually waited for a green light and hear our ire.

Rich S said:

It takes a special kind of stupid to be the tool that made me take avoiding action this morning turning onto Illinois. It was about 8am and I was heading south on Orleans making a left onto Illinois when you ran the red light going east on Illinois and forced me to swerve to miss you. The pedestrian crossing the street had to jump out of your way too. I would've t-boned your dumb ass if I was going straight through. 

Most people at that point might realize they were riding a bit douchey and maybe say something like sorry bout that. Hey we all make mistakes. But instead you do the turd move of shoaling at Wells, LaSalle, and Dearborn. You sir are a douche and a turd. 

Permalink Reply by Chris LaFrombois (8.5 mi - o.w.) on May 20, 2014 at 1:37pm

I'm also for more riders on the road and support safe cycling - I'm not cool with a large pack of riders that shoal and run lights only to put me in a precarious situation a mere 20 feet later when I have to take the lane to pass them. And then they continue to do that at every light onward.

I've recently started calling people out and asking if they would cut a line anywhere else in life. Gives them something to think about, even if it doesn't change their behavior in the short term.

Permalink Reply by Vilda on May 20, 2014 at 1:37pm

That's the spirit! You can go ahead with that!

rwein5 said:

Yea! And let's keeping using the word "retarded" to simultaneously disparage bad cyclists and the developmentally disabled at the same time! 

When do we get to break out the N word and F word??

Permalink Reply by dan brown on May 20, 2014 at 3:22pm

me too. in fact I may have more experience than gabe; but who's keeping track ?



Vilda said:

And Crazy David, I'm an asshole so I could care less how I sound. :-)

Permalink Reply by Anne Alt on May 20, 2014 at 9:48pm

To the extra $pecial a$$hole in the sparkling white Mercedes convertible - thank you SO much for your engine revving and honking. That was NOT effective in persuading me that the S. Wabash bike lane should be your private passing lane. So sorry you were inconvenienced and had to wait - until you decided to use the center turn lane as your private passing lane - for 2 whole blocks.

May a huge bird (Canada goose, perhaps) take a gigantic crap all over your privilege-mobile - with the top down - with you in it. That would be a most appropriate gift to reward you for how you treated everyone else on the road tonight.

Permalink Reply by David P. on May 21, 2014 at 9:37am

When I am riding in a bike or other non-car lane and I find a car behind me, I tend to sloooooooow doooooooown.

Anne Alt said:

To the extra $pecial a$$hole in the sparkling white Mercedes convertible - thank you SO much for your engine revving and honking. That was NOT effective in persuading me that the S. Wabash bike lane should be your private passing lane. So sorry you were inconvenienced and had to wait - until you decided to use the center turn lane as your private passing lane - for 2 whole blocks.

May a huge bird (Canada goose, perhaps) take a gigantic crap all over your privilege-mobile - with the top down - with you in it. That would be a most appropriate gift to reward you for how you treated everyone else on the road tonight.

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