Here's to the Diminutive Girl standing up to jerks

http://chicago.craigslist.org/chc/mis/4549182128.html

I voted it "best of Craigslist"

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Permalink Reply by Nancy L. Fagin on July 3, 2014 at 10:02am

Dear Gillian,

In hindsight, this was not the right thing to do - especially if you out alone and the folks with the car were drunk, etc.  (had drugs or weaponry).  I'm rather clumsy with a cell phone, but I do keep a stub pencil and small notebook (the power to the pen) and this freaks people out -that you are making a document/notation to the time, place and license plate of a vehicle...even if your pencil stub is broken, pretend like you're writing down the facts and that you will report it.  Pull to the side and THEN call the police (not just for blocking the bike lane, but verbal assault, disorderly behavior in public, druink in car...drunk driving car).

If you have a cell phone (or something "smarter") use the camera and make a document.  Even a little black box with a plastic round lid that you hold like a camera, will show that you mean business and are documenting the scene.  

After the "pleases" and "thank yous" don't work, the chances of getting hurt start to sky rocket.  Keep your verbal answers simple and to the point, don't argue about schooling, social background or gender. Think like a Klingon - Move the car.  I've called the police...move it.

A guy was being beaten to death right in front of my house a few days ago.  I yelled out the window - "Stop it, Stop it.   Ron, call the cops - call the cops."  They jumped in their Jeep and fled; the guy's in critical but alive.  I started to run down the stairs but didn't have the keys to the front key - hey, what am I gonna do?  Grab the club from the big nasty guy and tell him to be nice?  It was better that they had gone to splitsville and not confronted me.

Nancy

Westtown

Permalink Reply by Anne Alt on July 3, 2014 at 10:15am

Seriously? When someone is standing there clogging the lane and not moving?  I hope that's sarcasm.

It's a traffic lane, not a sidewalk.

Joe Sak said:

I, too, consider it "entitlement" to ask non-cycling people not to be in the lane that is made for cycling people.

Permalink Reply by Anne on July 3, 2014 at 12:26pm

still my fave: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hgCqz3l33kU



gillian wu said:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DKYJVV7HuZw is my constant reference for how to try my very best not to hate everyone.

Permalink Reply by Mike Zumwalt on July 3, 2014 at 1:13pm
Please and thank you are nice. The middle finger is better.
Permalink Reply by gillian wu on July 3, 2014 at 1:25pm

Nancy, I appreciate your response. I felt safe enough confronting this group of people because it was a public place. I regret not moving the conversation to a safer spot- and 100% recognize the hypocrisy of blocking the bike lane with an argument about blocking the bike lane. It's difficult to think clearly when you're in a situation like that.

Here's some context. I'd had a long, rough 12 hour day at work, was on my usual route home (which has since been adjusted to avoid Wicker entirely), and getting jeered at after I'd called out "move out of the bike lane!" sucked a little more than usual. I was craving a positive interaction to improve my shitty day, and turned around in the hopes that trying to have an adult conversation about why I yelled, instead of a shouting match, would maybe improve things. It was naive, but came from a place of hope. In this situation it did not help. Maybe one day the same approach in a different situation would.


There have been a lot of people telling me what they would have done in that situation, asking why I didn't do this or that, etc. or that I shouldn't have engaged and just ridden by. Lots of folks telling me that I intentionally misrepresented the situation to make myself look good. Plenty more death threats, name-calling, etc. have resulted from a Missed Connection that I posted as a therapeutic exercise with no intention of it ever spreading the way that it did. It's from my perspective, and gives you an idea of how felt when I got home. I wrote it when I was super pissed, sad, hurt, and trying to find a small way to feel better about an extremely shitty interaction. After I published it and posted it on my FB, I had a snack, drank a beer, watched some cartoons and went to bed. I didn't think about it again until the next morning, when I had 200 emails in my inbox.

The takeaway remains the same. Try to be nice to people, period.


Nancy L. Fagin said:

Dear Gillian,

In hindsight, this was not the right thing to do - especially if you out alone and the folks with the car were drunk, etc.  (had drugs or weaponry).  I'm rather clumsy with a cell phone, but I do keep a stub pencil and small notebook (the power to the pen) and this freaks people out -that you are making a document/notation to the time, place and license plate of a vehicle...even if your pencil stub is broken, pretend like you're writing down the facts and that you will report it.  Pull to the side and THEN call the police (not just for blocking the bike lane, but verbal assault, disorderly behavior in public, druink in car...drunk driving car).

If you have a cell phone (or something "smarter") use the camera and make a document.  Even a little black box with a plastic round lid that you hold like a camera, will show that you mean business and are documenting the scene.  

After the "pleases" and "thank yous" don't work, the chances of getting hurt start to sky rocket.  Keep your verbal answers simple and to the point, don't argue about schooling, social background or gender. Think like a Klingon - Move the car.  I've called the police...move it.

A guy was being beaten to death right in front of my house a few days ago.  I yelled out the window - "Stop it, Stop it.   Ron, call the cops - call the cops."  They jumped in their Jeep and fled; the guy's in critical but alive.  I started to run down the stairs but didn't have the keys to the front key - hey, what am I gonna do?  Grab the club from the big nasty guy and tell him to be nice?  It was better that they had gone to splitsville and not confronted me.

Nancy

Westtown

Permalink Reply by Mike Zumwalt on July 3, 2014 at 1:30pm
I got the opposite last Sunday being yelled at riding up sheridan as there was no bike lane I was f'ing up traffic and should get out of the road. I then caught up to him at the next light to continue our verbal retorts as he drove away I held my finger high. It would have taken 1 second to pass me and then have the rest of his life to do whatever. Be safe people.
Permalink Reply by Anne Alt on July 3, 2014 at 1:49pm

Glad you're okay. I used to commute using a route with some bad conflict points and found it becoming too stressful after a few close calls with vehicles or jerks like the one you encountered. Sometimes finding a new commute route that's better for your psyche and safer for your ride can be the best solution.

gillian wu said:

Nancy, I appreciate your response. I felt safe enough confronting this group of people because it was a public place. I regret not moving the conversation to a safer spot- and 100% recognize the hypocrisy of blocking the bike lane with an argument about blocking the bike lane. It's difficult to think clearly when you're in a situation like that.

Permalink Reply by gillian wu on July 3, 2014 at 1:55pm

Yeah! You just discover low-trafficked, low-populated routes like Fulton Market or Hubbard westbound or Homan north. Often it's worth it to trade a marked bike lane for a route with less pedestrians and cars. 

Anne Alt said:

Glad you're okay. I used to commute using a route with some bad conflict points and found it becoming too stressful after a few close calls with vehicles or jerks like the one you encountered. Sometimes finding a new commute route that's better for your psyche and safer for your ride can be the best solution.

gillian wu said:

Nancy, I appreciate your response. I felt safe enough confronting this group of people because it was a public place. I regret not moving the conversation to a safer spot- and 100% recognize the hypocrisy of blocking the bike lane with an argument about blocking the bike lane. It's difficult to think clearly when you're in a situation like that.

Permalink Reply by J.P. on July 3, 2014 at 2:00pm

Dang, that's really something. Sorry this happened to you. Hope your rest of the week goes smoother :-)

Permalink Reply by T.C. O'Rourke on July 3, 2014 at 6:04pm

The man and his friends and family were on foot.  The post makes no mention of a car and cites provisions in the municipal code pertaining to pedestrians.

While I found your suggestions silly and your 'street beating' comparison hyperbolic, the fact that you didn't really even read the post thoroughly before launching into this horribly rude lecture is what prompts me to comment.

I would say Gillian's response to you was too kind, but I think she's been told "your doing it wrong" a bit too much already.



Nancy L. Fagin said:

Dear Gillian,

In hindsight, this was not the right thing to do - especially if you out alone and the folks with the car were drunk, etc.  (had drugs or weaponry).  I'm rather clumsy with a cell phone, but I do keep a stub pencil and small notebook (the power to the pen) and this freaks people out -that you are making a document/notation to the time, place and license plate of a vehicle...even if your pencil stub is broken, pretend like you're writing down the facts and that you will report it.  Pull to the side and THEN call the police (not just for blocking the bike lane, but verbal assault, disorderly behavior in public, druink in car...drunk driving car).

If you have a cell phone (or something "smarter") use the camera and make a document.  Even a little black box with a plastic round lid that you hold like a camera, will show that you mean business and are documenting the scene.  

After the "pleases" and "thank yous" don't work, the chances of getting hurt start to sky rocket.  Keep your verbal answers simple and to the point, don't argue about schooling, social background or gender. Think like a Klingon - Move the car.  I've called the police...move it.

A guy was being beaten to death right in front of my house a few days ago.  I yelled out the window - "Stop it, Stop it.   Ron, call the cops - call the cops."  They jumped in their Jeep and fled; the guy's in critical but alive.  I started to run down the stairs but didn't have the keys to the front key - hey, what am I gonna do?  Grab the club from the big nasty guy and tell him to be nice?  It was better that they had gone to splitsville and not confronted me.

Nancy

Westtown

Permalink Reply by Anne Alt on July 4, 2014 at 2:58am

And sometimes you end up having wonderful experiences and discovering cool things on those quieter routes.  That's happened to me many times. I hope it happens to you.

gillian wu said:

Yeah! You just discover low-trafficked, low-populated routes like Fulton Market or Hubbard westbound or Homan north. Often it's worth it to trade a marked bike lane for a route with less pedestrians and cars. 

Anne Alt said:

Glad you're okay. I used to commute using a route with some bad conflict points and found it becoming too stressful after a few close calls with vehicles or jerks like the one you encountered. Sometimes finding a new commute route that's better for your psyche and safer for your ride can be the best solution.

gillian wu said:

Nancy, I appreciate your response. I felt safe enough confronting this group of people because it was a public place. I regret not moving the conversation to a safer spot- and 100% recognize the hypocrisy of blocking the bike lane with an argument about blocking the bike lane. It's difficult to think clearly when you're in a situation like that.

Permalink Reply by Adam C. on July 4, 2014 at 5:58am

How so? Please and Thank You aren't likely to escalate a situation. A middle finger? Yeah, that can lead to an escalation.

Mike Zumwalt said:

Please and thank you are nice. The middle finger is better.

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