Letter to Louise - a car driver - and a story of making lemonade...

This is an email that I sent to Louise.  She had passed me in her car and unnecessarily honked at me while I rode home alone, in my legal part of the roadway, after a bike ride with some friends.  To her surprise, I followed her to her house and stopped her in her driveway.  The 20 minute conversation was surprisingly friendly.  I thought it would be fun to share this with you all.

Dear Louise,
I want to say, “Thanks” for the civilized and pleasant chat that we had Saturday morning. I think it was good for both of us to be reminded that we share the roadways, and to that end, I think that it is helpful to adopt an attitude of respectful consideration of each other’s presence on the road.

 

Bicyclists are an increasing percentage of road users each year in the U.S, and this is only going to continue – look at Europe, for example, where bikes are used by all segments of the population for commuting, shopping and recreation. This is due in Europe, at least in part, to economic pressures related to the cost of transportion, and the U.S. is experiencing the same pressures.  For this same reason, in many parts of Europe, bike trips are more numerous than trips taken in motor vehicles. Since you are in the travel business, I bet you have seen this with your own eyes. We car drivers – I am one, too - are simply going to have to coexist with bicycles in the city the same way my family respectfully accommodated tractors in the farm country where I grew up. 

Since you expressed interest in bicycling for enjoyment, I could not more highly recommend visiting the Pony Shop www.ponyshop.com in Evanston, on Chicago south of Dempster Street. At the shop you will find attitude-free professionals who are equally happy to sell you a starter bike suitable for trails and trips to the store, or high-end racing machines like mine. Lou, the owner, is a personal friend, but the entire staff is friendly and knowledgeable. Good luck!

I would be happy to help you regarding bicycles or fun places to ride safely. Feel free to drop me a note anytime.

Cheers,
&c, &c

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Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Far'arned Retrogrumpalunkus #63 on March 20, 2012 at 2:58am

I disagree that a car horn should be used in this manner for general communicating.  

A car horn, unlike a bike bell, is for emergency use -not for telling other road users where you are in traffic.  This type of thinking is what leads to both noise pollution and aggressive driving.    

Horns should rarely, if ever, be used.  Usually they need to be employed after a driver made a previous mistake and subsequently entered into a driving situation too fast or too aggressively.  The horn needed to be employed as a remedial action to fix the earlier driving mistake.  Using a loud and abrasive car horn as a prophylactic action regularly is not good driving practice IMHO. 

Permalink Reply by David Barish on March 20, 2012 at 4:28am

 Using a loud and abrasive car horn as a prophylactic action regularly is not good driving practice IMHO.

 

In such a case, I agree.  A more experienced player can learn to use the horn with more piano and less forte. I am sure there are readers who have had a momentary loss of concentration and drifted towards danger.  A soft tap on the horn can help in such a situation. That being said, as I mentioned above, the intent of horns is hard to distinguish.  Much greater discretion should be used with a car horn than a bike bell. I think I don't rule it out as summarily as you do.  To some extent this conversation takes the "on your left" discussions that have been held on this board up a level to the dialogue between cars and bikes. Some welcome the warning and others are annoyed by the intrusion. The more gentle the overture is made, the easier it is to digest.

Permalink Reply by Julie Aberman (Hochstadter) on March 20, 2012 at 5:11am

I like this encounter.  Steve, if you have turned her on to biking, major kudos to you!   Like the Chinese proverb, "Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime."


One thing we need to all remember as cyclist is that MANY people are scared to get on their bikes on streets. When I drive a car, I am terrified I will hit a cyclist. It's just the visual space perception when in a car.   So it makes sense that people think if they ride in the street they will get hit.  


By having a friendly encounter, you can really change a person's attitude, and like Steve did, possibly turn her on to biking. 

Permalink Reply by Far'arned Retrogrumpalunkus #63 on March 20, 2012 at 5:14am

I have to agree mostly with this although as a bicycle or a pedestrian the intrusion of a car horn coming up from behind me when I am in my spot or taking my rightful place in the lane is only appropriate if the car is out of control and is about to hit me.  There really isn't any other use for it and that is how I will always interpret it at the instant and is quite disturbing to me. 

David Barish said:

The more gentle the overture is made, the easier it is to digest.

Permalink Reply by Julie Aberman (Hochstadter) on March 20, 2012 at 5:17am

James I agree it scares me when I'm riding along peacefully and someone honks.  I hate it.  But.... their intention may not be get off the road. It may be, hey, just want to let you know I'm here.  We honk a lot in Chicago.  Not as much as other cities, but it's been a cultural thing way before biking got popular.  

James BlackHeron said:

I have to agree mostly with this although as a bicycle or a pedestrian the intrusion of a car horn coming up from behind me when I am in my spot or taking my rightful place in the lane is only appropriate if the car is out of control and is about to hit me.  There really isn't any other use for it and that is how I will always interpret it at the instant and is quite disturbing to me. 

David Barish said:

The more gentle the overture is made, the easier it is to digest.

Permalink Reply by Far'arned Retrogrumpalunkus #63 on March 20, 2012 at 5:34am

I agree that they honk a lot in Chicago.  I don't honk.  I feel if I am honking then I have done something wrong to get into that situation in first place and haven't been looking far enough ahead.  If I need to honk at someone to get their attention then either they have made an egregious mistake at the last second and a collision is imminent -or I have been driving too fast for conditions and stuck my nose into somewhere faster than I could safely stick it.  

Then again I am the one most people get mad at for going the speed limit (30MPH most places) in town and pass me like I'm some sort of granny in all sorts of unsafe ways in the bike lane, parking lane, left/right-turn only lanes, or just crossing the centerline into oncoming traffic gunning their engines to highway speeds.

People drive too fast and are much too impatient to get where they are going these days.  If people feel the need to honk at other vehicles I think they might just be going too fast for conditions.  

Permalink Reply by Tony Adams on March 20, 2012 at 6:22am

Way before biking got popular AGAIN. Bike popularity predates the existence of automobiles.

Julie Hochstadter said:

James I agree it scares me when I'm riding along peacefully and someone honks.  I hate it.  But.... their intention may not be get off the road. It may be, hey, just want to let you know I'm here.  We honk a lot in Chicago.  Not as much as other cities, but it's been a cultural thing way before biking got popular.  

James BlackHeron said:

I have to agree mostly with this although as a bicycle or a pedestrian the intrusion of a car horn coming up from behind me when I am in my spot or taking my rightful place in the lane is only appropriate if the car is out of control and is about to hit me.  There really isn't any other use for it and that is how I will always interpret it at the instant and is quite disturbing to me. 

David Barish said:

The more gentle the overture is made, the easier it is to digest.

Permalink Reply by GabeW (not the other Gabe) on March 20, 2012 at 8:52am

Wow, I haven't posted in thechainlink in ages, mostly because of the violently strong anti-car sentiment, and the comments in here after it was pretty clearly explained that this was just an "I see you, please see me" toot of the horn, and quite polite at that, just make me laugh.  I've been on many group rides where it's expected that the rider to the rear of you will announce "car back!" if a car is approaching to alert the cyclist.  This driver seems to have done just that, but with her horn.  I've also been on rides with cyclists of varying skill levels - some that leave me in the dust as I'm maneuvering around a tricky traffic situation, and others that yell at me to wait for them as they get left behind trying to get there bike going again from a stop.  I feel very comfortable merging into the left lane, taking it, and making a turn.  But when I ride with some people I know don't have that confidence we ride through the intersection as far right as possible, then stop on the other side and wait to cross to continue on the right.  Ridiculing this driver for having a varied skill level (I certainly wouldn't have issue passing silently in this situation) than others is counterproductive to the idea of sharing the road.  Doesn't sound like she was speeding.  Doesn't sound like she violated the 3 foot rule.  Doesn't sound like she was angry with the cyclist.  Doesn't sound like she thought the cyclist was in her way.  It does sound like the cyclist didn't like being honked at and wanted to give a piece of his mind to the other person.  Frankly, I side with the motorist.  How did she know you weren't going to take a swing at her?  Seeing someone tailing me after I passed them would freak me out!

 

Horns are quite civilized.  They use electrical current to produce a sound used to alert others on the road.  In many facets of this world, when the ability to communicate verbally is hindered, the use of auditory and visual signals replaces the spoken word to communicate.  In traffic we are not holding conferences, we're not debating political or social issues, we're not telling stories, we're simply trying to safely travel to our destinations.  The only communication required is really simply: I'm stopping, I'm turning, and heads up.  Light up red, blink yellow, and toot toot fulfill those requirements quite well and any further interpretation only leads to anger.  Chill out, and enjoy the ride.

Permalink Reply by Steve Courtright on March 20, 2012 at 9:17am

GabeW, I do envy your ability to discern my state of mind when I was riding along Saturday.  It's unfortunate that I didn't have the same ability regarding the driver when I was honked at.  Maybe some of us have ridden enough to learn that not all horns are used by civilized people.  I think some of what you say is true, and some is quite naive.

Permalink Reply by GabeW (not the other Gabe) on March 20, 2012 at 9:30am

So you've learned that it's possible she was uncivilized, yet she passed you safely and without incident.  You then followed her to her home.  You frighten me, even if you're message was peaceful when you confronted her.  Were you prepared for her to get out angry?  possibly having called for backup to protect her from you before you got a chance to speak?  Your actions seam more indicative of initiating confrontation and trouble than hers did.

Every time I post a message of inclusiveness and acceptance I get it thrown in my face that I might not have encountered enough uncivilized motorists. HA. HA. HA. HA. HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAAAHAHAHA.  That is hilarious.  And quite naive.

Permalink Reply by Steve Courtright on March 20, 2012 at 9:33am

I didn't start anything, and I did nothing wrong.  And if you think my post was not about understanding and acceptance, you have missed the point.

 

I like your nice, neat view of the world.  Keep safe.

Permalink Reply by GabeW (not the other Gabe) on March 20, 2012 at 9:37am

Between commuting around the loop, the north shore, multiple cross-state rides, being hit by cars, doored, honked at, yelled at, denied medical help at Ravinia festival because I had a bike (albeit a bike in two pieces and blood covering my wife's face) but NO BIKES ALLOWED on premises.  Yeah, I've met many uncivilized motorists/music venue directors.  One time I was buzzed by a mitzubishi evo, and as a cyclists AND a subaru driver I didn't know which part of me should be more pissed.  So grow up chainlink. I ride a bike too.  I experience what you experience.  I'm not going to chasing down cars, I'm going to focus on my ride, whether driving or riding.

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