The Chainlink

The video the GoPro recorded this evening after work - riding north on Dearborn... the amount of unisex shoaling was so overwhelming... I actually yelled out on Dearborn and Whacker - SHOALERS!

Almost every intersection had women and men and Divvy shoalers. 

Unisex.

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Are we ever going to get over this subject?

Nothing  to see here, move along.

It was really bad yesterday. 

Tourist season. 

I finally figured out a way to minimize shoaling. I  have a boombot and play avant garde jazz. When  people  get  in front of  me they eventually get annoyed and  stay back or they speed up to the point where they are no longer  shoaling but really just  passing. I tend to  ride alone but I'm ok with that.

lol

Yeah, that's one way to do it. LOL.

You fight avant garde jazz with more avant garde jazz. I was never a big fan of Ornette Coleman, but John Coltrane on the other hand...

Welp, this morning I got manshoaled by a guy on a folding bike (I was on my Brompton). SO annoying. I called him a manshoaler as he cut in front of me at a light.

What an ass!

This morning too! I got unisexshoaled on Dearborn and Congress. I didn't feel like saying anything and focused on just getting to the office. 

Unisexshoaling? As a proud heterosexual shoaler, I find myself conflicted by that word. I'm ok with shoaling by either gender, but unisexshoaling strikes me the same way as unisex bathrooms. Is transshoaling a thing? I think we need to come up with some sort of catchy shoaling theme song. That might work.

Ok, how about this for starters. Sung (and plagiarized) to the tune of Rawhide:

Shoalin', Shoalin', Shoalin'
Shoalin', Shoalin', Shoalin'

Keep them shoalers rollin'
Keep them shoalers rollin'
Keep them shoalers rollin', rawhide!

Keep rollin', rollin', rollin'
Though the lanes are swollen
Keep them shoalers rollin', rawhide
Through rain and wind and weather
Hell bent for leather
Wishin' my gal was by my side
All the things I'm missin'
Good vittles, love and kissin'
Are waiting at the end of my ride

Keep movin', movin', movin'
Though we're all disapprovin'
Keep them shoalers movin', rawhide
Don't try to understand 'em
Just rope 'em, throw, and brand 'em
Soon we'll be livin' high and wide
My heart's calculatin'
My true love will be waitin'
Be waitin' at the end of my ride

Move 'em on, head 'em up
Head 'em up, move 'em on
Move 'em on, head 'em up, rawhide
Cut 'em out, ride 'em in
Ride 'em in, cut 'em out
Cut 'em out, ride 'em in, rawhide

Don't try to understand 'em
Just rope 'em, throw, and brand 'em
Soon we'll be livin' high and wide

Keep them shoalers rollin'
Keep them shoalers rollin'
Keep them shoalers rollin', rawhide!

Shoalin', Shoalin', Shoalin'
Shoalin', Shoalin', Shoalin'

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