Hey Ladies! What are your biggest pet peeves as a woman cyclist?
Specifically what behaviors do you feel subjected to, especially those of other cyclists, that annoy/irritate/frighten you that you feel you disproportionately experience as a direct result of your gender identity.
I am exploring this as a possible topic for an upcoming video education piece. So hit me.
Feel free to send me your thoughts in an email (jason@activetrans.org) if you don't feel like sharing with the group.
Thanks all!
Jason Jenkins
Education Specialist
Active Trans
Views: 8098
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Mark on
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I didn't say men needed to be treated better to make women equal. I said that if gender equality is the goal, then we need to treat genders equally in all ways. Our society as a whole doesn't do this. We continue to reinforce old fashioned, out dated, gender roles. How will that ever create gender equality?
Heather said:+1 to Caiken. And the idea that "women continue to favor men who buy them drinks" etc and that men need to be treated better to make women equal is totally offensive.
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Permalink Reply by Caiken on
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does your equality mean that I can jump into all the male-dominated bike threads and mansplain to them to explain why patriarchy sucks super bad instead of how awesome my new TT componentry is? because you're taking a thread asking for lady and lady-id'd folks' opinions about how they are treated while on BIKES and explaining to us how "we can't have it both ways." one, heard that one before, two, nobody asked. GRACIAS.
so, no. and peenworm for president. that's all.
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Permalink Reply by Gort 12-mile Pinklegneep on
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Try listening instead of re-stating and clarifying like anyone missed your point or you're getting blowback from being misunderstood. The problem isn't in any failure to communicate, the problem is that you communicated your ideas successfully, and they are shit.
If you want to not reinforce old fashioned out dated gender roles, start with that paternalistic "Ladies, Mr Man is here to tell you what you need to do to get that equality" shit. One weird tip from a dad.
Mark said:I didn't say men needed to be treated better to make women equal. I said that if gender equality is the goal, then we need to treat genders equally in all ways. Our society as a whole doesn't do this. We continue to reinforce old fashioned, out dated, gender roles. How will that ever create gender equality?
Heather said:+1 to Caiken. And the idea that "women continue to favor men who buy them drinks" etc and that men need to be treated better to make women equal is totally offensive.
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Permalink Reply by Michelle Loomis on
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As a working female engineer I find this post incredibly offensive. I have no problem paying for dinner on a date (they pay if they want to, not because I expect them to) and I find it awkward when men run around the car and open the door. In fact if a guy does all of the things mentioned below they probably won't be on a second date with me because it is awkward and looks like they are trying way too hard. Pulling over for someone having car trouble is common courtesy and I accept in from whomever it is- within my good judgement (thank you to the 60+ year old couple that gave me a ride when my car took a dump!)
Also if I find a man that would rather stay home with kids so I can have a career and get out of the house everyday, sweet. I don't have to pay for child care.
Caiken said:
Women will never get equality, if they continue to prefer to be treated in old fashioned ways. As long as women continue to favor men who buy them drinks at a bar, pay for dinner on a date, open their car door, and help them with their coat, etc. ( all of which I do, My wife hasn't opened a car door in 15 years ) Until society accepts stay at home fathers, as well as stay at home mom's, and our court system quits turning men into a walking wallet, especially when kids are involved, in divorce proceedings. Men are going to continue with old fashioned gender identified roles. Paired with misunderstanding of how a woman may feel differently about a given situation, and you have a recipe for being unintentionally offensive. I am not trying to rationalize blatant sexism, in any way. That is just plain WRONG. Cat calls, Leering looks, condescending talk to a female, ALL WRONG, WRONG, WRONG. A guy pulling over to help with a flat, because he may question if you know how to fix it yourself, although wrong, should be given a little forgiveness.
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Permalink Reply by millenial removing Bernie tattoo on
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As a lesbian transwoman, I demand that young women be attracted to me when I'm 55 #ageism #chronoqueer
Heather said:Catcalls and being invisible after 55 are just two sides of the same coin--how women are mostly noticed and valued for their perceived attractiveness and ignored if they are not perceived as such (not that I don't think older women are attractive, but our youth-obsessed culture largely does not).
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As a dreary jackass you can stop pretending to be a transwoman to troll anywhere that focus shifts away from men for one second.
It turns out transwomen are real people and not a hilarious alien internet construct that farts out insane demands.
envane (69 furlongs) said:As a lesbian transwoman, I demand that young women be attracted to me when I'm 55 #ageism #chronoqueer
Heather said:Catcalls and being invisible after 55 are just two sides of the same coin--how women are mostly noticed and valued for their perceived attractiveness and ignored if they are not perceived as such (not that I don't think older women are attractive, but our youth-obsessed culture largely does not).
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Thank you Echo- that is sort of where I was headed. Men whom are overly gentlemen like and creepy about it often tend to have other domestic issues. These men don't get far with me.
echo said:Exactly! In fact, I once dated a guy in high school who did that. He DEMANDED to walk me from my door to the car. He RUSHED to open/close doors. He REFUSED to let me pay for his meal/movie (even if it meant we couldn't do anything that night). When I called him out on it all, told him that it made me uncomfortable, he told me I was wrong and he was trying to be a gentlemen (red flag! I guess being a gentleman also means not following "your woman's" wishes). I said it felt a little fake to me. He nearly kicked me outta his car and proceeded to pretend I didn't exist at school. You think women have a reputation for silent treatments??? He wrote the book!
Fast forward 10 years...he's divorced with a kid and went to jail for domestic violence.
What a gentleman.
--Yes, apologies for being off topic! That just popped into my mind and I had to share!! --
Next post should be another woman sharing her pet peeve. I will stop posting for a while...
Michelle Loomis said:As a working female engineer I find this post incredibly offensive. I have no problem paying for dinner on a date (they pay if they want to, not because I expect them to) and I find it awkward when men run around the car and open the door. In fact if a guy does all of the things mentioned below they probably won't be on a second date with me because it is awkward and looks like they are trying way too hard. Pulling over for someone having car trouble is common courtesy and I accept in from whomever it is- within my good judgement (thank you to the 60+ year old couple that gave me a ride when my car took a dump!)
Also if I find a man that would rather stay home with kids so I can have a career and get out of the house everyday, sweet. I don't have to pay for child care.
Caiken said:
Women will never get equality, if they continue to prefer to be treated in old fashioned ways. As long as women continue to favor men who buy them drinks at a bar, pay for dinner on a date, open their car door, and help them with their coat, etc. ( all of which I do, My wife hasn't opened a car door in 15 years ) Until society accepts stay at home fathers, as well as stay at home mom's, and our court system quits turning men into a walking wallet, especially when kids are involved, in divorce proceedings. Men are going to continue with old fashioned gender identified roles. Paired with misunderstanding of how a woman may feel differently about a given situation, and you have a recipe for being unintentionally offensive. I am not trying to rationalize blatant sexism, in any way. That is just plain WRONG. Cat calls, Leering looks, condescending talk to a female, ALL WRONG, WRONG, WRONG. A guy pulling over to help with a flat, because he may question if you know how to fix it yourself, although wrong, should be given a little forgiveness.
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+1
As it should be. But far from normal.
Michelle Loomis said:As a working female engineer I find this post incredibly offensive. I have no problem paying for dinner on a date (they pay if they want to, not because I expect them to) and I find it awkward when men run around the car and open the door. In fact if a guy does all of the things mentioned below they probably won't be on a second date with me because it is awkward and looks like they are trying way too hard. Pulling over for someone having car trouble is common courtesy and I accept in from whomever it is- within my good judgement (thank you to the 60+ year old couple that gave me a ride when my car took a dump!)
Also if I find a man that would rather stay home with kids so I can have a career and get out of the house everyday, sweet. I don't have to pay for child care.
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No. It's really not.
Mark said:+1
As it should be. But far from normal.
Michelle Loomis said:As a working female engineer I find this post incredibly offensive. I have no problem paying for dinner on a date (they pay if they want to, not because I expect them to) and I find it awkward when men run around the car and open the door. In fact if a guy does all of the things mentioned below they probably won't be on a second date with me because it is awkward and looks like they are trying way too hard. Pulling over for someone having car trouble is common courtesy and I accept in from whomever it is- within my good judgement (thank you to the 60+ year old couple that gave me a ride when my car took a dump!)
Also if I find a man that would rather stay home with kids so I can have a career and get out of the house everyday, sweet. I don't have to pay for child care.
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Permalink Reply by yai danche on
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Thank you Michelle and Echo. Very well put about some men who are trying too hard aren't well-intentioned. Also I don't know how the men hijacked this thread to say that women can't have it both ways. So if I let a man pay for dinner or open doors, it's okay for them to harass me on the street? I'm not seeing the correlation here. My issues are if a motorist (male or female) wouldn't harass a male cyclist because they can fight back and win, then don't do it to me just because I look like I can't. If a cyclist (male or female) won't pass a male cyclist because they're perceived as equally as fast, than don't do it to me. BTW, I have no problem being passed by someone who is doing so with enough room and clearly faster than me. Most fit cyclists I noticed can get 3-4 blocks ahead of me once they pass me. However you get those people who are wobbly on a road bike and need the curb to rest at a stop who shoal and then are all surprised that I can easily pull ahead of them once the light turns green. And then they blow stop signs and red lights to get ahead and just look irked that I can keep pace.
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Permalink Reply by Jenn_5.5 mi on
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I am going to gloss over all the male irrelevant comments to add my 'Female Experience' -
While using Divvy (once a week just cause I wanna go 'Dutch'), I am treated like a stupid tourist (more from cyclist than drivers). Don't know if it is just because of the bike or the fact that I am wearing a dress (sans helmet) that makes me look overly female. Just a thought - a person using a Divvy bike during rush hours in 'work' clothes, probably is going to work like you. It is also likely that this isn't their first day, don't be a jerk!
Passing: In my general experience, ~10% of male let me know when they are going to over take me - females is closer to 60%. Also, the amount of space given when passing is noticeable different. I may be a fat female, that doesn't, however, mean I am slow. I hate, hate, hate when 'you' (m/f) assume that I am slower so you overtake me at a stop then only to have me pass you and to do it over and over again. My commute is my workout, I try to go all out while on my road bike.
Woman's cycling clothes: Ugh! I am a short but not small girl. Size 18, that puts me at or right on the edge of plus size. All my cycling clothing is men's clothing. I have stopped looking at women's options all together. There are a few great options out there but they are not as accessible or a affordable as mens. Plus, I don't like to wear pink!
Cat calls: I have received a few. Probably more pertaining to my weight than sexual allure. They are uncomfortable, ignorant, and never a good idea. Yeah, I know I'm fat. I really didn't need to you point it out as you smoke, while driving your SUV. Sigh!
Bike Shops: The only truly negative experience has been with another female. It may be conflicting personalities or whatever. I don't like 'her' and no longer go to that shop because of her. I like the other workers, but chances of seeing her have just ruined it. I love Johnny Sprockets on Broadway and have never had a negative Experience in Village Cycle Center on Wells. I know that VCC gets a lot of hate on CL, but my service/work has always been amazing and we purchased our trek tag-a-long there.
I am sure there is more, but I will end my rant with this... I don't care who you are, just treat me like you want to be treated.
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